What if how we talk to each other has a direct impact on our ability to resolve conflicts? Learning to resolve conflicts is a skill. It takes understanding and practice! Learning the difference between a criticism vs. a complaint could help in addressing and resolving conflicts.
Criticism is focused at a person and who they are as human being. Criticism is about an event and looks to resolve a problem. Criticizing speaks to who a person is and promotes blame and shame. Identifying a complaint offers the opportunity to collaborate on a solution. Criticism is asking “Why did you do that?” or “What is wrong with you?”. Complaint is saying, “This happened and I have a problem with it, what can we do to resolve it?”.
Why would we expect anyone to help us if we are attacking who they are a person?
A simple solution to making conflict more manageable is to reduce criticism as much as possible! The challenge becomes slowing down long enough to enter a conflict with intention by identifying the complaint and avoiding as much criticism as possible. – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Have you ever considered a self-development workshop?
Rhoads Life Coaching offers a series of workshops intended to build internal awareness and relationship skills. These workshops are great for small business team building, staff development, and enhancing communication skills. The workshops are also great for small groups looking for a fun approach to building relationship and communication skills.
Intentional Goal Setting
Conflict Resolution I
Conflict Resolution II
Creating Personal Vision
Creating Personal Purpose Statement
Priority Action Plan (PAP) Development
The best part of these workshops is their flexibility and adaptability to a specific group. If you are looking for a staff retreat or private small group event, these workshops can be molded to each setting, whether that is a business setting or an afternoon at home with friends. Check out more details here, and send a email to email@example.com to book your next workshop!
Too often we look to the world around us expecting change. In reality, purposeful and meaningful change starts as an internal process. The first step toward making changes is to create a practice of self-observation. This practice is difficult, as we either let ourselves off the hook, expecting others to change before us, OR we guilt and shame ourselves into changing (think of all the times you force yourself to exercise or to not eat something you want). Our critical and judgmental pieces tell us we ‘should’ change and this creates a split internally. It is more difficult to change when you are forcing yourself to do something. The antidote to this split is to take the critical and judgmental voices out of the conversation. This is achieved by taking a detached, almost scientific, self-observation of oneself. The simplest way to start is to look back at a recent event and observe how you acted (both internally and externally). What were you thinking? How did you feel? What was the story you were telling yourself as the event happened? Where did that story come from? How could you have acted differently? What would that take? To be able to step back outside of ourselves and observe in a non-judgmental way creates new opportunities for growth and development. – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Looking for the first step in reducing stress and anxiety? Take a deep breath… all the way in and all the way out (and then repeat!). The easiest and simplest step to beginning to slow down and be more intentional about choices and actions is to focus your attention on how you breathe. Create a habit of finding your breathing several times a day. Notice when you are only taking short deep breaths. Simply reminding yourself to slow down and take a couple intentional breaths will automatically begin to reset your brain and body to a lower level of stress, helping you think clearer. You are hard-wired with a system that allows you to ramp up or slow down. It is just a matter of remembering to take some intentional breaths. – www.rhoadslifecoaching.com
Have you ever considered that taking intentional aim is different than setting a goal? Setting a goal is critical. We do not have a sense of direction or vision with out a goal. Taking aim, however, is the moment before activation. Aiming requires intent, will, and concentration. Frequently we set goals for ourselves and never reach that activation point. Sometimes getting started is the hardest part. Taking aim changes all of that. It is the moment we switch from contemplating and planning to action. Focusing on how we aim can influence how we approach a task or goal. If our aim does not match our values, priorities, and vision we can sabotage achieving the goal we set. It is possible to focus on aim and adjust the intent – resulting in a different outcome! – www.rhoadscoaching.com
What if the habits and patterns you use are numbing you from experiencing meaning and finding your purpose? These ways of anesthetizing ourselves serve a purpose up to a point. We need to rest and to recharge and be entertained and connected, but the mechanisms we use to do so can numb us from feeling the need to change. Once that numbing becomes a habit it prevents us from making intentional and healthy changes. We have a multitude of ways to numb ourselves to keep from feeling vulnerable. This lack of vulnerability prevents the good things from entering our lives just as much as the bad things. The remedy starts with self-observation. How do you numb yourself? What are you missing by doing so? How can you be intentional about beginning to numb yourself less? – www.rhoadslifecoaching.com
The word is out! Rhoads Life Coaching is making an impact!
Tell your friends, family, and coworkers!
For the month of October, if you refer someone to my practice, and they complete a paid coaching session, I will you give you a
FREE 1-hour coaching session!
Who you do know that is searching for meaning and purpose in the way they approach their daily living? Have them send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org to schedule a free consultation!
What if there is a lens through which we filter our reality? How we perceive the world is filtered through our beliefs, our emotions, and our values. EVERYTHING we experience passes through this lens! Those internal lenses works just like a pair of sunglasses to change our experience, which is why we end up with so many different interpretations of the same events. Frequently that lens gets smudged and distorts our view of the world. Just like a pair of glasses it helps to notice that the perception is smudged and to clean the lens! Sometimes those lenses are no longer useful or need to be cleaned or replaced! How are you filtering the world? – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Have you ever put yourself in a situation standing on a ladder or step-stool where over-extending your reach creates a tipping point? Where you have committed more of yourself than is safe? Suddenly the chore you are doing becomes much less important that the injury that could happen.
We are asked to give all of ourselves in what we do.
What happens when we give more?
What happens when I give 110% to my job or relationship (or anything else)? There is a tipping point where we over-extend ourselves and the consequences can be painful. Where are you over-extending in your life? What adjustments can you make to continue to grow and develop without tipping over? – www.rhoadscoaching.com