I Want, I Don’t Want – Rhoads Life Coaching, LLC

Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between pulling something we want towards us while also pushing it away. If we slow down and listen we can almost hear the two internal voices arguing – “I Want” and “I Don’t Want”.

The image comes to mind of one had pulling the thing I want towards me, while the other hand is pushing it away at the same time. Suddenly I am stuck! If I let go with the first hand I will lose the thing I want. Letting go with the second hand, I will definitely get it (and that might be bad)!

Where does this happen for you?

Deciding whether to stay at your job?

Whether to go back to school?

Asking someone out?

We have trouble resolving the internal conflict when we can’t or don’t know how to change our hold in order to choose something else to resole the conflict. So how to get unstuck?

Bringing a third perspective is the simplest place to start. The two versions of yourself (the I Want and the I Don’t Want) have a reason for being there. The third version of yourself can help by observing the conflict from a place of not being stuck. Have the third version assess the situation. Ask the two in conflict what they are trying to achieve. Is it possible to negotiate a solution where both are willing to change their grip to help the other out?

With practice and patience this negotiation and collaboration can help in resolving future internal conflicts! – www.rhoadscoaching.com

I Want I Don't Want - Rhoads Life Coaching Logo

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

The Words You Choose – Rhoads Life Coaching

Do you pay attention to the words you choose? When you are resolving a conflict are you using should’s and could’s to shame someone into compliance? In describing a goal your team wants to achieve are you using general terms that make the finish line vague and unachievable? Are you using too many words to give instructions, or too few? The words we use make a big difference in how we talk to each other (and ourselves)!

There are layers upon layers of complexity and power in the words you choose. Take the word spirit for example. It’s, root spiritus, is a very old Greek word that essentially means “breath”. Breath can be kind of a mundane word until you:

Inspire – breathe in

Conspire – breathe together or with

Respire – breathe out

Aspire – breathe up

What inspires you? Who do you conspire with to be connected to and supported by in the world? Do you breathe out all the stress and negativity in life, or hold it in until you pass out? Who do you aspire to be? What is the higher level of yourself that is being developed?

My request is to pay attention to the words you use. They are vitally important to how we engage with the world around us. They can make a difference in whether we move forward or backward in our development. Choose your words carefully! – www.rhoadscoaching.com

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life