Self-Confidence – Rhoads Life Coaching

What is self-confidence for you? Where are you confident in your ability? Where are you not? Just like any other skill, self-confidence can be developed.

Have you ever taken the time to look at the elements of confidence? How do you define it? Does it include experience? Flexibility? Comfort? What are the things you are confident in outside of yourself? The weather forecast? Your local sports team? Taco Tuesday? What creates that confidence? Reputation? Repetition? Experience?

How is self-confidence different for you? Are there things you trust others in more than yourself? How about yourself more than others? Why is that? Self-confidence can be a tricky thing based on how we define it. I may be confident in my ability to make a sarcastic and unhelpful observation, but not confident in my ability to speak in front of a live audience. Understanding the different arena and levels of confidence in myself is helpful in figuring out ways to build higher levels of confidence. Understanding the mechanisms through which your own confidence is build goes a long way toward building it more effectively. –

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Psychological Country – Rhoads Life Coaching

Your Psychological Country is the internal world you live in. Have you ever thought of it that way? I have written previously about each of us standing between our internal and external world, but have you considered that internal world as its own country?

If that is true, do you know what is there? Have you ever explored it? It is as big (or bigger) than the external world!

If you took some time to describe it, what would it look like? Are there vast open spaces? Is it crowded? Does it vary? Are there places it isn’t safe to go by yourself? Who lives there? Are there spots that are abandoned or dilapidated?

The benefit of being able to see your Psychological Country is there is an opportunity to develop it! Are there potholes of negativity that need to be filled in? Where are the impoverished areas of your internal world that need development?

The reality is the more we develop and enhance our internal psychological country, the more effective we are at navigating the external world. What part of your Psychological Country needs to be developed next? –

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

The World is a Patchy Place – Rhoads Life Coaching

It’s funny how different things stick with you. I have a clear memory of my advisor in school saying during a lecture, “The world is a patchy place”. The way it was stated struck me as humorous at the time. Little did I know that it would keep popping up over the years.

Have you ever paid any attention to the fact that the world is a patchy place? There are very few things we encounter that are evenly distributed. The ground beneath your feet, the cells in your body, the groceries at the store, your friends and family all would not exist if the ‘things’ in this world were evenly distributed. There are sound ecological and financial principals as to why the birds come to the feeder together instead of one at a time. Just like three drug stores at the same intersection is better for business than one drug store by itself.

Why do you care? Noticing might help in how you approach navigating toward what you want! Accepting that the world is a patchy place might influence how you go about searching for a job, or hiring new employees. It might help you navigate away from loneliness and being better connected to groups that meet your vision and goals. It could even influence how you treat yourself in terms of reducing negativity, creating goals, or overcoming obstacles.

Part of my coaching has developed around this theory that the world is a patchy place. Where do you need to go next to solve your current problem? If you don’t have what you need where you are, where is the patch of what you need located? How will you get there? –

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Propping & Collapsing – Rhoads Life Coaching

One perspective shift that has occurred for me over the last couple of years has been the introduction of the concepts of propping and collapsing. It was unsettling to me, once I started paying attention, how much I prop my body when I sit and stand. In an age of computers and cell phones, I can feel the physical toll on my body through the aches and pains of muscles and joints from not having good posture. I’ve had to work hard to change how I sit and stand!

This concept is easy to carry forward into other areas of my life. We all can think of a co-worker or teammate who has collapsed in some way and the staff and team having to prop up around them to continue on. Propping our finances up is not sustainable and eventually other areas of our lives pay the price. Emotionally and relationally propping and collapsing are not long term solutions. Are you someone who is always propping others up, or always collapsing on someone else?

Just like a dilapidated barn, the long term impacts of sustained propping lead to much broader collapse in our lives. So where are you propping yourself up? What part of your person has collapsed and forced stress on other parts of your life? Take some time to create a map for yourself of where stress occurs and where it can be reduced. Without intentional whole-person growth and development, sustained propping will undermine how we want to live. –

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Everything Is A Choice – Rhoads Life Coaching

It might be difficult to accept the hypothesis that “everything is a choice”. When I say that I mean EVERYTHING. You choose whether to get out of bed each day. What car to drive. What clothes to wear. These choices are easy to see.

You also choose the thoughts and you attitudes take. You choose how you run your business, how you treat your clients, your employees, your family and loved ones. You choose how you treat yourself.

The choices you avoid and don’t make are also choices. Everything is a choice.

IF you are willing to accept the mindset that everything is a choice you are taking responsibility for yourself. This adds power to everything you do and who you are. Your life has the ability to change by accepting this responsibility.

What choices are you making each day? What choices are you allowing others to make for you? What choices are you avoiding? How will your life be different if you accept that everything is a choice?

Matthew Kelly wrote an essay in 1999 called The Rhythm of Life reflecting this philosophy. –


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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Same Amount of Time As Everyone Else – Rhoads Life Coaching

Who do you look up to? What about this person is inspiring? Better yet, how does this person accomplish whatever you find inspiring? Whether you look up to a professional athlete, a business person, a family member, or a historical figure, this person has accomplished something significant with their life. How did they achieve this given that they have the same amount of time as everyone else?

Think about that for a minute. Bill Gates, Mother Teresa, Warren Buffett, Lebron James, and Dwayne Johnson all have the same 24 hours each day that you do. How are they able to get so much done day-in and day-out compared to the rest of us? While talent and resources play a role, at the end of the day it boils down to motivation and drive. How much do these people WANT to create their future compared to the rest of us? Based on their success, a LOT more!

The point becomes –

What are you doing with the 24 hours each day that you are given?

We need to be healthy by eating and sleeping, but how much time do you spend on tasks and distractions that do not reflect your values and priorities?

Have you ever quantified how you spend your time each day? Make a log! How much time do you spend in the car? On social media? Texting? Watching television or movies? Once you have quantified your ‘average’ day (make sure it adds up to 24 hours!), are there areas you can reduce to add more meaningful activities? What would your life be like if you were able to spend more time doing the meaningful things that are important to you? –

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Your Future Self – Rhoads Life Coaching

Because you are able to imagine a version of your future self, you are able to develop a relationship with that future you. It is reasonable to expect that you will exist at some point in the future. Whether it is 1 year, or 5 years, or 10 years, some version of you is out there in the future. If that future self pauses to look back at the current you (you do this every day looking back into the past), then for a moment you and your future self are headed toward each other in time. Eventually you will meet! Someday you will reach that future date and become the future you.

For now though, the two versions of your being can catch a glimpse of each other through time. What do they think of each other? If they were to meet, what would they say to each other? Would they be happy to satisfied with who you are and who you are becoming? What advice would they have for each other?

This is a powerful perspective! Who is that future self? Being able to imagine that vision of the future helps to guide and inspire every single decision you make each day. Are you on the right path? Creating a relationship with your future self allows you to create a vision of the future to direct your current choices!  –

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Focus and Distractions – Rhoads Life Coaching

We walk a daily path between focus and distractions. The practice of focus keeps our attention on what is most valuable to us. Distractions shift that focus away. We are inundated with distractions that prevent us from focusing.

I recently led an exercise where we quantified the impact of distractions on very simple tasks. Taking two children’s puzzles, two teams completed as much of two puzzles as they could in a short time. Then the two teams switched every 20 seconds between the same two puzzles, for the same amount of time, resulting in a 50% drop in pieces completed. Finally we combined the two puzzles together and work on both puzzles at once, resulting in ANOTHER 50% drop in pieces completed. The more distractions, the less focus! Even on a simple task, the distractions had significant impact.

If it takes on average 15 and 20 minutes to reach peak focus on a task, and most people experience some form of distraction every 11 minutes, we are constantly re-focusing before we are interrupted again. Is your job like this? How about your family conversations? We lose valuable time, energy, and effectiveness in all aspects of our lives from distractions.

In order to focus it helps to identify the few things that are the most valuable to complete in any given event. What are the five most valuable things that must be done today? Naming them each day creates focus.

Where are your greatest sources of distraction for a particular topic? Does the phone need to be put away? Do you need to close the door to your office for a few minutes? Being intentional about creating time and space for task reduces the number of distractions.

How are you going to focus and reduce distractions during your busy week? –

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Celebrating Each Win – Rhoads Life Coaching

We teach our athletes to celebrate every touchdown, foul shot, or at bat. Think about that for a minute. Even if the game can’t be won, our athletic teams practice a philosophy of celebrating each win.  Why don’t we translate that same philosophy to our relationships and careers?

Why is there a gap between athletics and other careers in how we approach daily work? Sometimes businesses fail to honor good work as it is expected and “part of the job”. But when our teams score touchdowns or hit home runs we cheer even though it is that team and athlete’s “job” to play the game.

What if we coached our employees and co-workers to celebrate the same way a team runs to the end zone after a touchdown? How would our careers be different?

To be clear, I’m not talking about end zone dances or high-fives or head-butts in your office. There can be a personalized version of that same intent though. There is an advantage to any team to cheering each other on. What is your version of that in your daily life and career? What would it take to celebrate each win? –

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Greater Than the Sum of the Parts – Rhoads Life Coaching

Aristotle is credited with stating the Greek philosophy that “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”. As human beings we see and assign value and meaning to the wholeness of something.

We have evidence that this philosophy is true.

If we take all of my parts and spread them out on a table, each part is valuable, but something is lost in trying to reassemble my parts. The spark that creates my life is lost and is greater than each of the individual pieces of me.

From a different angle, you can my car apart and spread it out on a table and then put it back together. If I know what I am doing (or have help), it will still work! The tires and engine of my car have value. But the running, functioning vehicle is much more valuable to me. We assign value and meaning in the mobility and image we present driving down the road in a healthy car.

We have been to rock concerts or athletic events where the energy of the crowd transforms the event into something bigger than individual part of the event. Those are the concerts and competitive events we remember the most.

Just like any other skill or trait, this value of the whole can be developed (a new car is much more valuable to us than an old car).

So, if we are greater than the sum of our parts and this wholeness can be developed, where in your life is there value in developing this wholeness? What parts can be grown and increased? How will you notice that wholeness?  –

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life