In order to begin any change, development, or growth you must first accept where you are. This may seem like a simple statement until you have to make multiple attempts at changing something about yourself.
Ask anyone who has attempted to quit smoking, lose weight, or keep a New Year’s resolution. Our lessons of what works and doesn’t work in regard to change frequently have to be recalibrated after determining that we started from an inaccurate beginning.
Maybe you didn’t know how difficult it would be to grow or develop. Or maybe you didn’t fully understand how hard it would be to let go of something. These, and many others, are observations of not accepting where we are when we start.
Where do you have a blind spot that prevents you from accepting where you are? Or better yet, what are you in denial about that prevents an accurate beginning? Even if I understand that my stress level is too high, if I don’t accept it I will continue down an unhealthy path. Where are you not being honest with yourself? What would it take to accept where you are?
If you cannot accept the reality of where you must begin, you will be starting from a false starting point. – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Last week I posted ‘What IS Coaching?” If I were coaching myself, the next natural questions becomes ‘Why Do I Coach?’
Being a coach ends up fulfilling my purpose and creates meaning in nearly everything I do. For those of you who know me, I have a wide range of interests and careers. Coming from a biology background, I geek out about how individuals fit together creating a larger habitat and ecosystem. With my experience in the financial industry, I find value in how people create purpose and meaning for themselves. Through leadership development training and coaching at a non-profit, I found the value of having a story, finding a vision and purpose, and taking a whole-person approach to living and growing.
The reality is, I am trying to walk the talk of what I believe about who we are as human beings. It has become my purpose to help others find that in themselves. It is humbling to watch an individual connect the dots and reach up to a higher level of development and growth!
If you are interested to learn how coaching would work for you; message Rhoads Life Coaching to sign up for a FREE consultation! – www.rhoadscoaching.com
It is a very valuable tool to write down the important events of your growth and development. There are demonstrated benefits (some of them clinical) in journaling. Frequently in coaching I hear that it is a difficult practice to start or maintain. We seem to understand it is beneficial, so why don’t we do it?
In addition to reducing stress, helping to de-clutter our minds, and exploring our emotions, writing down helps us to remember what has happened. I find that the farther away I get from a significant event, the less I remember about it. This can happen VERY quickly after an event. When I go back and look at what I have written after a significant piece of growth, I find that it is much easier to remember! If I want to remember the vibrancy of the event, it is best to write it down! It makes it real and difficult to forget!
Journaling also makes it much easier to battle my Inner Critic with remembered data points when the negativity tries to refute hard work I have accomplished previously. There is also something much more personal and permanent in seeing my own words in my own handwriting rather than text in a digital file. It is part of me on the paper!
An underlying message, I sometimes point out to folks who struggle to keep a journal or log, is that by not writing it down you are telling yourself you aren’t worth remembering or worthy of being held in a safe place of value. Think about that for a minute. Sometimes I have trouble writing because I am battling my worthiness. Once I start writing the words flow much easier. The hurdle is my beliefs about myself, not the writing.
So, we know there are valuable, inexpensive benefits to writing about yourself. What prevents you from doing it? There are valuable data points you will need in the future. Write it down, that way you will be able to remember the steps you have made if you ever doubt yourself in the future. Start a journal or a log! – www.rhoadscoaching.com
How do you spark creativity? Are you intentional about trying to find sources of inspiration? What tricks do you use to make a creative spark?
Just like any other skill or strength, the ability to generate that creative spark can be developed. Some of the most innovative businesses and people in the world intentionally spur themselves to be creative. They go out of their way to create new ideas.
I recently heard the phrase of using that creative spark as a means of “erasing the blank page”. The image comes to mind of the writer stuck in front of a blank screen or page, searching for inspiration. Stalled out with nothing to say. The idea of putting something, ANYTHING, on the page erases the blank page and allows the words to flow. This could apply to your career, a relationship, eating better, searching for a new job… just about anything.
So how do you do that for yourself? The belief that we are not creative is false. Everyone has some form of creativity. When you get stuck, what do you do? Do you go for a walk? Talk to someone who is creative? Find an inspiring place to sit? Search a completely different topic or industry for ideas? Find ways to intentionally make a spark and keep being creative! – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Your Psychological Country is the internal world you live in. Have you ever thought of it that way? I have written previously about each of us standing between our internal and external world, but have you considered that internal world as its own country?
If that is true, do you know what is there? Have you ever explored it? It is as big (or bigger) than the external world!
If you took some time to describe it, what would it look like? Are there vast open spaces? Is it crowded? Does it vary? Are there places it isn’t safe to go by yourself? Who lives there? Are there spots that are abandoned or dilapidated?
The benefit of being able to see your Psychological Country is there is an opportunity to develop it! Are there potholes of negativity that need to be filled in? Where are the impoverished areas of your internal world that need development?
The reality is the more we develop and enhance our internal psychological country, the more effective we are at navigating the external world. What part of your Psychological Country needs to be developed next? – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Every interruption (big and small) causes us to reset; reducing attention, efficiency and effectiveness. Personally or professionally, interruptions cost a lot of time and energy. Take a minute and estimate – how many times do you get interrupted in a day?
Microsoft studied its Excel users to determine how interruptions impacted their ability to efficiently work. They estimated it took 18 minutes to recover from an interruption and regain full effectiveness at a task. In addition, they estimated that each worker was interrupted every 11 minutes. Because of this, there was never a point during the study where the user was at full effectiveness due to interruptions.
Our lives are full of this! We are constantly bombarded by phone calls, emails, text messages, notifications, etc. These constant distractions prevent us from being fully present for just about everything we do. Interruptions drive through our day, just like the cars in this video, forcing us to reset. At what cost? Getting all of the details for a task? Completing a task without errors? Being able to complete a task on time or early? Being present when talking to your spouse or children? Driving safely in the car?
I am as guilty as anyone else of being distracted by interruptions. My challenge to you is to reduce them. Put the phone away when talking to someone. Turn the notifications off on your phone and computer when working on a project. Disconnect the notifications from your phone to your FitBit. Close the door to your office when having an important conversation. Schedule blocks of time on your calendar to complete a task. Anything to reduce the number of interruptions at work and home will lead to more fulfilling and meaningful work and fun. What will it take for you to start reducing interruptions? – www.rhoadscoaching.com
One of the most significant things that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom is how we are creating meaning in life. Other animals are able to learn and adapt, but (as far as we can tell) they are unable to step outside themselves and make sense of the world. We spend a lot of time wanting and needing meaning in our lives. Do you think about how you create meaning though?
We can create meaning out of almost anything. Your child’s security blanket, a lucky penny we pick up on the sidewalk, weddings, funerals, graduations, etc. The things we find meaningful are unique to each of us through our vision, values, priorities and goals. We create meaning, though, by stepping back from ourselves, observing, and making sense of what we see.
It is critical for our personal and professional development to be able to see the context of how we fit into the world around us. By making sense of this context, by knowing why, we are able to see our own value and purpose. THIS is meaningful.
If meaning can be created, it can also be developed – just like any other skill. Where do you find meaning in your life? Where is meaning missing? What do you need to do to step back and observe yourself as you go through your day? To make sense of how your daily life fits into the bigger picture? – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Are you a young professional who is feeling stuck? Come join us this Saturday for a panel discussion about the challenges facing young professionals and how to get UNSTUCK!
I am so excited to host this panel at the Erlanger Library this coming Saturday from 10:30 to noon! If you are a young professional looking for direction and focus, come join us! – www.rhoadscoaching.com
It is a key athletic skill to be able to advance the ball downfield with your eyes up. Running with your head up allows you to see plays develop, to avoid potential obstacles, and to create opportunities as the game flows. We want our young athletes to learn this as quickly as possible to develop their game. How often do we forget to do this in our game of life?
It is difficult as a young athlete to trust your skills enough to dribble the basketball or soccer ball without looking at the ball. It takes a lot of practice to not put our head down as we run the bases. Hopefully you had a coach growing up that invested the time and energy to develop your confidence and ability to look up the field as you passed, dribbled, or ran. It allowed you to continue on to a higher level of competitive play.
How often do we develop this same skill in the other aspects of our life? What would running with your head up look like at your job? Are you developing this skill in your team or staff? Are you practicing this ability inside your friendships and family? Having the confidence and ability to navigate your own emotional and relational intelligence with a sense of seeing the field of play (not looking at our feet) will take you to the next higher level of navigating through life. – www.rhoadscoaching.com
It might be difficult to accept the hypothesis that “everything is a choice”. When I say that I mean EVERYTHING. You choose whether to get out of bed each day. What car to drive. What clothes to wear. These choices are easy to see.
You also choose the thoughts and you attitudes take. You choose how you run your business, how you treat your clients, your employees, your family and loved ones. You choose how you treat yourself.
The choices you avoid and don’t make are also choices. Everything is a choice.
IF you are willing to accept the mindset that everything is a choice you are taking responsibility for yourself. This adds power to everything you do and who you are. Your life has the ability to change by accepting this responsibility.
What choices are you making each day? What choices are you allowing others to make for you? What choices are you avoiding? How will your life be different if you accept that everything is a choice?