It is normal for life to get moving so fast we drift away from the fundamentals of who we are and how we function. It is important to reset and get back to the basics in order to stay on course.
Where have you been drifting away from the core of who you are and how you do things? There have been so many disruptions this year, I would be surprised if you have not been pushed off course.
Regardless of the pandemic, drifting away from fundamentals is natural. That’s why athletic teams practice so much! What are the core components of who you are that have drifted lately? Are they personal? Professional? Is it an internal mindset or relationship that needs priority? How do you define The Basics for yourself?
Take some time this week and review where you might be drifting. What are the basics that bring you back? Journalling? A review of your values and strengths? The notes from a leadership program or certification? Prayer? Meditation? A meaningful poem or song? Your favorite movie? What practice brings you back to center? What are the basics of your practice? – www.rhoadscoaching.com
It is starting to cool off! The days are getting shorter! This winter is going to have additional obstacles to overcome in terms of the pandemic and isolation. How are you going to survive it? Now is the time to prepare. What’s the plan?
Have you thought about that?
It has come up in several coaching sessions lately. The worry and dread of dealing with the pandemic during the winter. We have so far benefited from the spring, summer, and fall of being able to be outside and active while trying to social distance and stay safe. In hearing the concerns from some of my clients of coping with Covid in the cold and dark, now is the time to prepare!
From a coaching perspective, we have the ability to plan for the obstacles ahead. What new activity can you learn? Will you use your creativity to find a unique solution? What would be a different way to develop yourself? How are you going to intentionally make this winter different from other years?
Given how quickly each month seems to pass, if you do not prepare now for January and February, they will be here before you are ready. Now is the time to prepare! If you are passive you will find yourself on the couch watching TV with the same doldrums we struggle against now. What is the plan? – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Independent of our beliefs and values we each have thresholds in our behavior. These thresholds are specific to each situation and are influenced by the behavior of those around us. Knowing how they function helps to understand how we work.
Mark Granovetter and other social scientists developed theories around predicting behavior based on the peer pressure of the group around an individual.
Some of us have high thresholds that resist changing behavior in a crowd. An example could be how emergency responders might run toward an emergency instead of away as crowds tend to do.
Some of us have low thresholds where we change our behavior quickly with the crowd. An example being when someone calls for quiet and a group stops talking all at once.
These thresholds come into play for all of us and are unique to nearly every situation we encounter based on the size of the group, the situation at hand, and a wide range of other variables. Granovetter observed how sometimes we even work against our own beliefs and values once that threshold is triggered. The group has influence on the individual based on the threshold.
Have you seen this play out recently? It is possible for one individual to have a low threshold for needing a stockpile of toilet paper and a high threshold of resisting wearing a mask.
How does the threshold model play out in your life? Do you know it is there? What are your thresholds? What are the tipping points for your family, friends and co-workers? Is your low resistance or high resistance to a threshold helping or hurting you? – www.rhoadscoaching.com
We have two competing systems built into us. One that follows the herd mentality of “run!”. The other that asks us to pause and make informed decisions. Which system we use creates a dramatically different outcome on a daily basis.
The first step toward making changes is to create a practice of self-observation. To be able to step back outside of ourselves and observe in a non-judgmental way creates new opportunities for growth and development.
The ancient Greeks had a term for the apathy of sustained isolation. Acedia is the sense of drifting into not caring. Knowing it is happening is the key to getting out.
Remember the poppy field that Dorothy and her friends wander into in the Wizard of Oz? Or the dwarves getting lost in the forest of Mirkwood in the Hobbit? We sometimes find ourselves wandering through a monotonous dreary stretch of life that creates an apathy that almost puts us to sleep.
I have been battling this myself for the last few weeks and have coaching clients who are describing the same thing. Virtual hang out with friends aren’t as novel as they were 5 months ago. I’ve watch ALL of Netflix and am almost finished with Prime. Who cares, right?
If the ancient Greeks had a term for it, it can’t be something new to the human experience. In my brain, the fact this malaise isn’t new is helpful. Someone has been here before. How did they get out?
For the Greeks they found help in reconnecting. When they found themselves experiencing acedia they would double down and reconnect with those they cared about. The relationships and sticking together was they way through.
The first step to reducing this apathy and anxiety is to recognize that it is there! The second step is to reconnect. Who have you lost contact with in the last few months? Who do you need to reach out to? Now that you have completed step one, who do you need to call? – www.rhoadscoaching.com