Blog - Page 21 of 36 - Rhoads Life Coaching, LLC

October 27, 2019October 22, 2019

Change Has To Be Something Different – Rhoads Life Coaching

Sometimes the most obvious things can be the most profound. I have been laughing and shaking my head this week at how much it struck me to hear the statement, “For innovation to happen, change has to be something different”.

Let that sink in for a minute. It is painfully obvious, right? Duh! Of COURSE something has to be different. Having worked with a lot of people around growth and development (the foundations of my coaching practice), I can tell you that most of us say we want change, but we don’t really hear or believe it. Don’t believe me? Put your wallet in your other pocket for a day. Or carry your purse on your opposite shoulder. See how different your day is!

Rarely do I meet someone who doesn’t want their life to improve. For things to get better. But if nothing is different about how they live, then nothing will change.

We have to create a space to allow change to happen. By definition we have to do something different to create the space for our business, clients, employees, family, friends, and children to develop and grow. If that different space isn’t created, nothing will change.

So where in your life are you preventing something different from happening (both intentionally and unintentionally)? Where do you want things to be better, but there is no space to create something new? How will you see things differently and look for different spaces to create in order to change? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

October 20, 2019October 20, 2019

Being Fierce vs. Being Aggressive – Rhoads Life Coaching

From my viewpoint, there is a difference between being fierce vs. being aggressive. As a culture we have a difficult time being powerful, assertive, and confident without being aggressive. There is a dilemma in being aggressive in our attempts to move toward what we want. In my mind aggression has an aspect of violence in it that frequently does harm to those around us.

So how is fierce different? For me, the image of being fierce has a sense of fire, a passionate burning, a confidence that holds boundaries and drives us forward. Being fierce has many of the same characteristics as being aggressive without the addition of violence.

Why do you care? If our main method of teaching how to be bold, confident, and passionate comes through the lens of being aggressive, we create athletes, business partners, and personal relationships laced with the mindset that violence is acceptable.

What would it look like to be fierce instead of aggressive? Is it possible for you to be passionate, bold and confident without being violent? How would you treat yourself and others? What do you need in order to create that fire in your belly that doesn’t burn you to the ground? Pay attention to when you are being fierce vs. being aggressive. Can you remove some of the aggression from your confidence and boldness? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

October 13, 2019October 4, 2019

Definition of Terms – Rhoads Life Coaching

We struggle to communicate because we use different definitions for the same words. Until we create a common definition of terms, until we calibrate our communication, we will continue to misunderstand each other.

This calibration boils down to the fundamentals of communication. Words like “good”, “fine”, and “great” end up being throw aways in our culture because I don’t have any idea what you mean when you say, “I’m good”. Based on your definition you may be surviving, where by my definition I would mean you are thriving. We have missed each other in terms of communicating.

Unfortunately this happens to us all the time. Ranking frustration on a scale of zero to ten on a scale (zero being no frustration, ten being enraged), a level of three on my scale has a different description than your level three. Until we create a common definition of terms, it is difficult to understand fully.

So how to calibrate?

It is important to SLOW DOWN when we are having meaningful conversations!

It is vital to ASK when you aren’t sure what someone means.

If you aren’t being heard, it is important to PAUSE and take the time to CLARIFY.

The more SPECIFIC we can be in our descriptions of feelings or thoughts, the easier it is to calibrate. Using “angry” to describe all levels of frustration creates a very broad definition that is difficult to calibrate.

Where is your communication not calibrated with someone else? Where are you being vague? Who do you communicate with regularly where a definition of terms would improve understanding and communication? There are significant benefits for your employees, clients, coworkers, family, and friends if you a hear them more accurately and feel heard yourself? Time to define terms! – www.rhoadcoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

October 6, 2019October 3, 2019

Why Do I Coach? – Rhoads Life Coaching

Last week I posted ‘What IS Coaching?” If I were coaching myself, the next natural questions becomes ‘Why Do I Coach?’

Being a coach ends up fulfilling my purpose and creates meaning in nearly everything I do. For those of you who know me, I have a wide range of interests and careers. Coming from a biology background, I geek out about how individuals fit together creating a larger habitat and ecosystem. With my experience in the financial industry, I find value in how people create purpose and meaning for themselves. Through leadership development training and coaching at a non-profit, I found the value of having a story, finding a vision and purpose, and taking a whole-person approach to living and growing.

The reality is, I am trying to walk the talk of what I believe about who we are as human beings. It has become my purpose to help others find that in themselves. It is humbling to watch an individual connect the dots and reach up to a higher level of development and growth!

If you are interested to learn how coaching would work for you; message Rhoads Life Coaching to sign up for a FREE consultation! – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

September 29, 2019September 24, 2019

What IS Coaching – Rhoads Life Coaching

So what IS coaching? More importantly, why do you care?

I find it interesting that we investing so much time, energy, and money into coaching athletes. Almost as soon as our children can walk, all the way up to the highest levels of professionals, we trust in coaches to develop athletes in every possible way. Once our athletic careers are over and we settle on a profession, for most of us coaching stops. Why is that? Why would athletics need more focused development that other areas of life?

A coach is someone who helps someone develop themselves (whether a team or individual). Coaching is different from teaching, therapy, consulting and advising and it can be applied to nearly every aspect of life. These other roles usually tell someone what to do or how to do it. A coach is looking for helping the individual develop themselves. If a coach is doing their job well, the individual is finding their own answers. Remember a coach doesn’t go out of the field to play!

So why do you care? Why do you need a coach? If it was valuable to develop your batting, throwing, tackling, foul shots, serves, etc., why is it not valuable to develop your communication, conflict resolution, emotional intelligence, relational intelligence, values, goals, and vision? EVERY aspect of our lives can be developed. Coaching becomes one method of intentionally developing specific pathways.

What aspects of your personal and professional life could benefit from development? How could coaching accelerate your growth? What’s holding you back? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

September 22, 2019September 21, 2019

Humility vs. Self-Deprecation – Rhoads Life Coaching

We have a strange relationship with humility. Frequently we do not make a distinction in humility vs. self-deprecation. We want to be affirmed, but don’t want to be boastful. We want others to recognize our value instead proclaiming it. Sometimes we hide our talent or ability and this self-deprecation limits our ability to help others connect with what they want and need.

To be clear, I am not advocating for boastful pride. I do not recommend exaggeration and lies about what you have done or who you are. I am suggesting that for most of us we hold back in some way and sell ourselves short before the world is able to recognize our value.

How does this appear in your life? Do you not give data to your clients or employer describing what you have accomplished in the last year? Have you kept your mouth shut in a meeting or conflict when you have an idea for a potential solution? Do you decide that someone isn’t going to like you before you go into an interview or out on a date?

I would argue that we have each been given a light to shine out into the world. Our talents, our strengths, our values and abilities are needed around us and hiding those lights under a basket prevent the world from receiving your value.

This self-deprecation is not valuable. There is a need to be modest and humble with how we describe ourselves. But if you are limiting the accuracy of our talents and gifts you are not filling your purpose! – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

September 15, 2019September 9, 2019

The Need To Struggle (The Value of Resistance) – Rhoads Life Coaching

Do you see the value in the need to struggle? Sometimes I wonder if we lose perspective in our desire for life to go easy and well. The need to struggle is valuable in life!

There seems to be an inherent bias in living that requires struggling to grow and develop. We can’t become stronger and more coordinated if there is no resistance back in what we want to do.

Think about that, there is a benefit in young creatures struggling to stand, walk, and run. There is a benefit in struggling to learn the fundamentals of education, or driving a car. We become better at the gym, or in developing our career, when there is resistance back. We become stronger and more capable!

If this is true, then are you able to change your perception of struggle? Instead of seeing our need to struggle and grow as a liability, it is possible to see it as an asset? Suddenly struggling becomes valuable! Taking one step further, what if the resistance we experience in our struggles with finding a better job, or saving money, or maintaining a relationship are something to be joyful about? How would struggle change for you?

Where do you struggle on a daily basis? What is the value for you in wanting that resistance to be part of living? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

September 8, 2019September 7, 2019

Be A Connector – Rhoads Life Coaching

I have posted previously about how we are all connected. Like it or not, we are all connected in some way and there is great value in these connections. My ask today is for you to BE a connector.

Someone near you is looking for some type of connection. Whether they are looking for information, a service, or some object, they need some help. Someone they don’t know has the information they need. You may be the person who has the ability to connect that dot for them! There is a great deal of value for you, those near you, and the community as a whole for that dot being connected. We can move forward as a group once that connection is made.

Frequently I hear from individuals that they do not have anything to offer in helping connect others. Rarely have I ever met someone where this is true. We all have valuable experience, expertise, and connections even if they are not being used at the moment. Someone is looking for the connections you have!

So my request is simple. Focus your attention on where you can be a connector. What groups do you participate in and where are opportunities to connect others? This could be in a job search. It could be in terms of new clients. Maybe solving a mechanical or household problem. Or as simple as what social media group helps in connecting others. The vast majority of people find value in helping others. You have a role to play.

Where are you limiting yourself in the belief that you have something valuable to offer as a connector? What prevents you from helping others connect? Keep your eyes are ears open as you go through your day. Where are there opportunities to be a connector? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

September 1, 2019August 29, 2019

What Makes Up the Pieces of Patience? – Rhoads Life Coaching

What makes patience? There is a lot of benefit to understanding the components of how something is defined and works. It makes it easier to understand and develop. Because patience is a skill it can be built and developed. The building pieces then become important!

So what are the pieces that make up patience? This is a working definition for me, so please feel free to add or make suggestions. The elements of patience for me are:

Pause – When I lose my patience I have neglected to stop and look at what is happening around me. By pausing before I react, I give myself the opportunity to change my reaction. For me the first step in being more patient is pausing before I react.

Choice – By pausing I then get to choose. This choice is powerful! If I can choose which path I follow then I am not being forced (even if I don’t want to go that direction). By choosing patience I have power over my person.

Acceptance – This is a big one. By accepting the situation I am in, I automatically create the ability to choose patience. “This is the current dilemma, I choose to be here, I can accept the terms of following this path.”

Reducing negativity – Any time I can reduce negativity I am creating more choices and more acceptance. Negativity erodes patience. Any reduction in negativity helps.

Endurance – “I am willing to endure this” is a powerful statement. I am willing to be patient with traffic, long lines, to save for the vacation or house. “I am willing to wait” embodies patience. What are you willing to endure? And what do you need to endure a little bit more?

So what are you impatient about? What pieces of patience need to be developed in order to make more patience for yourself? What is the benefit for you if you are able to develop this skill and practice more patience? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

August 25, 2019August 23, 2019

Compassion For Your Shadow – Rhoads Life Coaching

We all have a dark, negative aspect to our personality that acts like a shadow. Being able to see it in ourselves automatically creates compassion for the shadow side of others.

Think about that for a minute. Do you agree that we each have really negative parts to who we are? It is really easy to deny that it is there. Just like our real life shadow though, it is impossible to have the light shine on us without creating insecurities, fears, and parts of our personality that are violent, destructive, dangerous and toxic.

Do not hear that I am advocating for letting these shadowing parts out to run around loose! They can hurt others and ourselves!

My point today is that this shadow part of our personality exists, whether we admit it or not. Acknowledging it is there is powerful because it creates the opportunity to have some compassion for ourselves in admitting that we spend a lot of time wrestling with these negative parts.

We all have a dark, negative aspect to our personality that acts like a shadow. Being able to see it in ourselves automatically creates compassion for the shadow side of others.

Where does your shadow come out in your life? What is its backstory? If you can see your shadow, can you see the shadow of others? What will it take to have some compassion for others who are wrestling with their shadows? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: