Too often we look to the world around us expecting change. In reality, purposeful and meaningful change starts as an internal process. The first step toward making changes is to create a practice of self-observation. This practice is difficult, as we either let ourselves off the hook, expecting others to change before us, OR we guilt and shame ourselves into changing (think of all the times you force yourself to exercise or to not eat something you want). Our critical and judgmental pieces tell us we ‘should’ change and this creates a split internally. It is more difficult to change when you are forcing yourself to do something. The antidote to this split is to take the critical and judgmental voices out of the conversation. This is achieved by taking a detached, almost scientific, self-observation of oneself. The simplest way to start is to look back at a recent event and observe how you acted (both internally and externally). What were you thinking? How did you feel? What was the story you were telling yourself as the event happened? Where did that story come from? How could you have acted differently? What would that take? To be able to step back outside of ourselves and observe in a non-judgmental way creates new opportunities for growth and development. – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Looking for the first step in reducing stress and anxiety? Take a deep breath… all the way in and all the way out (and then repeat!). The easiest and simplest step to beginning to slow down and be more intentional about choices and actions is to focus your attention on how you breathe. Create a habit of finding your breathing several times a day. Notice when you are only taking short deep breaths. Simply reminding yourself to slow down and take a couple intentional breaths will automatically begin to reset your brain and body to a lower level of stress, helping you think clearer. You are hard-wired with a system that allows you to ramp up or slow down. It is just a matter of remembering to take some intentional breaths. – www.rhoadslifecoaching.com
Have you ever considered that taking intentional aim is different than setting a goal? Setting a goal is critical. We do not have a sense of direction or vision with out a goal. Taking aim, however, is the moment before activation. Aiming requires intent, will, and concentration. Frequently we set goals for ourselves and never reach that activation point. Sometimes getting started is the hardest part. Taking aim changes all of that. It is the moment we switch from contemplating and planning to action. Focusing on how we aim can influence how we approach a task or goal. If our aim does not match our values, priorities, and vision we can sabotage achieving the goal we set. It is possible to focus on aim and adjust the intent – resulting in a different outcome! – www.rhoadscoaching.com
What if the habits and patterns you use are numbing you from experiencing meaning and finding your purpose? These ways of anesthetizing ourselves serve a purpose up to a point. We need to rest and to recharge and be entertained and connected, but the mechanisms we use to do so can numb us from feeling the need to change. Once that numbing becomes a habit it prevents us from making intentional and healthy changes. We have a multitude of ways to numb ourselves to keep from feeling vulnerable. This lack of vulnerability prevents the good things from entering our lives just as much as the bad things. The remedy starts with self-observation. How do you numb yourself? What are you missing by doing so? How can you be intentional about beginning to numb yourself less? – www.rhoadslifecoaching.com
The word is out! Rhoads Life Coaching is making an impact!
Tell your friends, family, and coworkers!
For the month of October, if you refer someone to my practice, and they complete a paid coaching session, I will you give you a
FREE 1-hour coaching session!
Who you do know that is searching for meaning and purpose in the way they approach their daily living? Have them send an email to email@example.com to schedule a free consultation!
What if there is a lens through which we filter our reality? How we perceive the world is filtered through our beliefs, our emotions, and our values. EVERYTHING we experience passes through this lens! Those internal lenses works just like a pair of sunglasses to change our experience, which is why we end up with so many different interpretations of the same events. Frequently that lens gets smudged and distorts our view of the world. Just like a pair of glasses it helps to notice that the perception is smudged and to clean the lens! Sometimes those lenses are no longer useful or need to be cleaned or replaced! How are you filtering the world? – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Have you ever put yourself in a situation standing on a ladder or step-stool where over-extending your reach creates a tipping point? Where you have committed more of yourself than is safe? Suddenly the chore you are doing becomes much less important that the injury that could happen.
We are asked to give all of ourselves in what we do.
What happens when we give more?
What happens when I give 110% to my job or relationship (or anything else)? There is a tipping point where we over-extend ourselves and the consequences can be painful. Where are you over-extending in your life? What adjustments can you make to continue to grow and develop without tipping over? – www.rhoadscoaching.com
What coping mechanisms we learned as children are limiting our potential now? The self-protecting behaviors we learned early on about surviving conflict, or soothing a wound, or how to fit into a group all worked… you are still here! These foundational buffers helped us survive as children and because they were developed as children, now inhibit our full potential. Avoiding conflict works in some instances, but not in all. Being a perfectionist drives us to excel, only up to a point. Numbing out buffers us from emotional pain, but can lead to addiction while preventing positive experiences from happening at all. The old tools serve a purpose, but as adults we have the ability to adapt and create more refined responses. We have the ability to choose something different! – www.rhoadscoaching.com
Where do you want to end up? Whether it is planning a vacation, or developing a career path, or creating a lasting relationship, if you do not set a vision of where you want to end up you will likely never get there!
By having a sense of the long term goals for each of the domains in our lives, we automatically create meaning and purpose in what we do on a daily basis. The more that our vision can align with our values and priorities, the more fulfilling the pursuit of that vision will be! Not having a vision, or going away from our vision, creates dissonance and disruption in our lives.