While our emotions are intended to be whole (meaning they simply exist as they are and are not intended to conflict), our brain is intentionally wired to make decisions. This decision making process functions like a pendulum of yes and no, swinging back and forth, allowing us to sort information.
This ability to sort information into different piles is a very valuable tool! Knowing to not drink the water from a 
specific stream, or understanding which berries are safe to eat and which ones aren’t, are critical to survival! For life threatening situations a firm decision of “YES, GO!” or “NO, Don’t do that!” allow us to navigate through the world safely. We would not exist if this pendulum did not function.
One disadvantage to this process, however, is that the decisions on the pendulum with the most resolution are at the extremes. From a safety and simplicity standpoint, our brains want to make as many 100% YES or 0% NO decisions are possible. It is less work! Unfortunately the world is rarely that neat and tidy (if you don’t believe me, ask your friends/family where they want to go dinner tonight)!
How often do we feel conflicted with our thoughts as we try and sort through all of the external and internal information that our brains try to process all day every day? Trying to apply an all or nothing approach to decision making creates a lot of conflict! So we have to come to some understanding and acceptance that making decisions between the ends of the pendulum of YES or NO is a more powerful way of approaching the world (and where we end up living most of our lives). Suddenly the mid-point of the swing (the point with the most speed) is the balancing point between yes AND no. The pendulum (and our brains) never stay in that place very long, but it is the point where the most options exist and we can most congruently align with our emotions and sensations.
There is value in being able to accept this dynamic process inside ourselves and then in terms of how we relate to the people around us. Understanding this pendulum is in place with a co-worker, family member, or friend changes how we relate to conflicts and making decisions. You will have more options and balance in decisions in accepting the mid-point of this pendulum, allowing for YES AND NO to exist at the same time. – www.rhoadscoaching.com
finding meaning and purpose in daily life