Liminal Space (The Space Between) – Rhoads Life Coaching

The internal experience of the space between our old way of doing things and the yet-to-be-created new way of living is called Liminal Space.

This idea popped up several times for me over the last few weeks. Richard Rohr was able to put the term Liminal Space to it in one of his recent posts. The term itself helps me, as it makes very real the feeling of being in-between. It is important to differentiate that Liminal Space is an internal experience. The thoughts, emotions, and sensations of each person as we transition from one thing to the next.

We have all been in discomfort of these spaces before. The awkwardness of starting a new job. The anxiety of losing a job. The fear of moving to a new place. The worry of finishing school. The loss in the death of a loved one. Liminal spaces are uncomfortable.

Rarely, though, do we get to experience such a prolonged transition at a global scale. Our current pandemic has pushed us into a transition and toward something not yet defined. We are unable to go back. We must go forward and build something new. Collectively it is difficult to sit in this space of in-between.

The benefit of liminal space? You have the ability to influence your internal world more than uncertainty of the external world. How to do that?

First is accepting that you are in transition. Coming to terms with this discomfort is the best way to change it. Second, you are not alone. Whether it looks like it not, everyone around you is going through the same change. We are all coping the best we can. Third, set an intention. Who do you want to be as you navigate this change? Finally, where do you want to end up? Set a goal for your internal world. Where you would like to be mentally and emotionally at the end of this change? Create a target to shoot toward. You have the ability to grow through these spaces. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Herd Mentality (Fighting the Urge to Follow) – Rhoads Life Coaching

We have two competing systems built into us. One that follows the herd mentality of “run!” when everyone else around us gets startled. The other that asks us to pause and make informed decisions.

Have you ever watched a flock of birds or a herd of deer get startled? One animal sees something that looks threatening and it jumps and runs. The other animals around it don’t actually see the threat, they follow the example of the first and run without knowing what they are running from.

There is an inherent benefit to the flock as a whole in following the example of these around them. Only when there is an actual threat. When a flock gets spooked too often by false threats, it wastes valuable time and energy constantly flying away. There is a balancing point where running with the herd isn’t an advantage.

I have been observing these dueling priorities inside myself over these last few weeks. I notice the pull behind my navel that keeps asking, “Should I go buy toilet paper?” It is a bit ironic for me that our house hasn’t had to buy more toilet paper until just this week. We didn’t need to run even though I kept checking.

Please do not hear me saying there is not a real threat. We should stay away from others. It is best to be very careful about getting sick. We do not need to run with the herd, though, in panicking about perceived threats (please DO NOT ingest disinfectant).

How often does this happen outside of our current pandemic? Are you able to pay enough attention to yourself to realize when you are reacting from a more primitive survival instinct that wants you to run in fear when there is nothing but fear to run from?

The antidote? Pausing before reacting. Practice taking a breath before you make a decision and look to see if you can actually see the problem to solve, or whether all you see is the herd running by. The system we use creates a dramatically different outcome on a daily basis. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

Random Dance Party Challenge – Rhoads Life Coaching, LLC

How do you break the tension? How do you shake off the stress of the day? One way is to have a random dance party!

In playing a game with my daughter last week, I was struck how often Disney characters dance. I would have to think for a minute to name an animated Disney film that DOESN’T have dancing. It seems Walt was trying to send a message. Maybe cutting loose and dancing is an important thing!

So, what IS a random dance party? First, it would have to be completely unplanned and unscripted. You can’t PRACTICE for a random dance party, you just have to go for it! Where would you HAVE a random dance party? I’ve seen them on the side of the road, in the basement, in the hall. You get to pick! How long do they last? You tell me! One song will do. Depends on the song!

That got me thinking. Why don’t we cut loose? We are in the middle of a lot of serious stuff and most of us are stiff with tension of holding on to the next thing. The cumulative effect is that we are wore out and sore from day after day of holding tight. What if dancing was an easy way to loosen up?

What gets in the way of this silliness? Mostly the idea that it is silly. Our belief that we aren’t allowed to cut loose and shake off the stress for a minute. Need help getting over yourself? ASK YOUR KIDS FOR HELP! They will know exactly what to do!

So, I’m offering a challenge. Have a random dance party this week. I dare you to give yourself a break and have one! Include your kids or your partner. I dare you to post in on social media. Challenge your friends. What song will you pick? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life