How would you define self-compassion for yourself? What would it include? What does is not include? We frequently have more compassion for others than we do for ourselves. Self-compassion, however, is the source of compassion for others.
So what IS self-compassion? Would you know it if you see it? Do you allow yourself to recover from making mistakes? Do you not compare yourself to others? Do you give yourself positive affirmations about how you feel, look, treat others? Are you willing to forgive yourself the way you forgive others? Do you hold yourself to a higher standard than those around you? Do you believe you are doing your best on a daily basis?
My bet is that most of us have less compassion for ourselves than we do for others. A test for this is to think of a dilemma or struggle you have been in recently. Take a minute and observe the conversations you have had with yourself about this situation. Now think of someone you care deeply about (a child works best) and sit them in your spot. Would you say the same things to them? If the answer is no, you likely have more compassion for this person than for yourself. Again, if they were sitting in your seat, would you allow tell them to have more compassion for themselves in treating themselves that way? There is a subtle message embedded in that difference between how we treat others and ourselves. By not having as much self-compassion for ourselves as we do others, we send a message that we aren’t worth as much as others. This is FALSE! Again, would you let your child treat themselves that way?
So where to begin on building more self-compassion? First, is always observing yourself. What does that critical voice say to you? Do you fight back? How often do you beat yourself up for something? Second, is to imagine putting that loved one in your place and saying the same things. You wouldn’t do it, would you? Finally, it is treating yourself as an equal to others. Affirming the things that go well in your life is a essential. Where do you need more compassion in your life for yourself? – www.rhoadscoaching.com
finding meaning and purpose in daily life