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The Critic (Critical Self-Talk)- Rhoads Life Coaching

One important aspect of personal growth and development is the ability to recognize that we have lots of different aspects to who we are. One important aspect to watch out for is The Critic.  This negative part of our personality blames, shames, and steals energy and power. He or she gives the running negative commentary while we go through our day and is a pro at endlessly micro-analyzing the tapes of our mistakes and failures after the fact. When you hear yourself saying out loud or saying to some one, “It wasn’t good enough!”, or “I should have known better!”, or “What is wrong with me?” – THAT’S the Critic. This part of you is frequently relentless and can adapt to how it delivers it’s negative message. It can be vicious and sinister!

Another important aspect of The Critic is – you weren’t born with this piece of you. If you find that hard to believe, watch your local preschooler play as they run around in their super-hero cape. They don’t have that critical self-talk built in yet! They have to be taught to believe they aren’t good enough or that they don’t fit in. Critical self-talk is a product of our early growth and development!

This mean you have the ability to change that critical self-talk. If it wasn’t hardwired in you to start, then there is a chance of re-programming that code! It starts with self-observation and trying objectively to observe what your specific Critic is about. Change only comes from being able to see what is going on inside you. You have the ability to take that power back, as The Critic is not who you really are! – www.rhoadscoaching.com

 

The Critic - The Critic

 

finding meaning and purpose in daily life 

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Attracting the Life We Live – Rhoads Life Coaching

We are attracting the life we live. Whether we intend to (or even want to), we are in a relationship with the world around us. That relationship goes both ways. I have posted previously about how reducing negativity impacts our daily living and how the lenses we wear impact our perception, but because the relationship goes both ways, the world also responds to our actions, thoughts, beliefs, and even energy.  This paradox may be difficult to discern.  Which comes first, my positive outlook and hope, or the opportunity to be positive and hopeful? The reality is that the world responds in kind. If we are negative we receive negativity. If we are hopeful we receive hope. This creates an opportunity to change the world around us. If my attitude and energy impact the world’s response, then choosing how I relate to the world changes my own reality. This does not mean we will receive all of our wishes. It does not mean we won’t encounter obstacles. But  we have the ability to attract the life we want to live. We can do so by working to live the life we want. What life are you living now? Are you fearful? Negative? What changes do you need make on a daily basis to live the life want? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

attracting life

 

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Urgent vs. Important – The Eisenhower Method

I wanted to share a tool that has been around a long time and that I have used for several years with great success with my coaching clients. I have always called it the Urgent vs. Important Grid. Today I learned it is called the Eisenhower Method as it was coined by President Eisenhower as his method for prioritization. Frequently, in our hurried lifestyle, we convince ourselves that everything has to be done right away. This is rarely the case. Eisenhower developed his matrix separating tasks into urgent and important in order to help him prioritize.

The designated quadrants are as follows:

  1. Important/Urgent quadrant are done immediately and personally (e.g. crises, deadlines, problems).
  2. Important/Not Urgent quadrant get an end date and are done personally (e.g. relationships, planning, recreation).
  3. Unimportant/Urgent quadrant are delegated (e.g. interruptions, meetings, activities).
  4. Unimportant/Not Urgent quadrant are dropped (e.g. time wasters, pleasant activities, trivia).

The exercise becomes deciding where to place each task. As much as we would like to think  it is possible, not everything can go into the Important/Urgent quadrant. In fact, regardless of the time-frame, a healthy prioritization of tasks would have an equal number in each quadrant. It is possible to create a matrix for a specific project, the weekend, or for the next 6-months.

The matrix is fluid. Once a task is complete a task from a different quadrant can be move up. If urgency increases quickly a task may leap over other tasks. A burst pipe in the kitchen or a sick child jump into the Important/Urgent grid unexpectedly.

There is a benefit of taking pressure off by designating some tasks as Important/Not Urgent and Urgent/Not Important instead of everything being Important/Urgent.

I use this matrix as a spreadsheet on my desktop that gets updated daily. I have seen it used on sheet paper or flip-charts or dry-erase boards. For some reason, being able to move post-it notes from one quadrant to the next, or off the matrix completely, is very satisfying.

So how to decide? How do you determine which task goes where? The process is a reflection of your priorities and values. It is critical that some tasks require help. It is also critical that important tasks not be neglected. If a task sits in the Not Important/Not Urgent quadrant for too long, maybe it needs to be dropped entirely from the list. If the Urgent/Important quadrant has tasks there needs to be a very good reason to work on something else.

So make your own matrix. Test it out and see how it works. Pay attention to what variables you use to decide. Hopefully this tool allows for more effective, efficient, lower-stress decision making and prioritization. I have found it to be a very useful tool. Be sure to post questions and comments. I am curious to hear how it goes! – www.rhoadscoaching.com

 

*There are dozens of different styles of this matrix on the web. This example was created by Kelly Ohaver in 2015

 

Rhoads Life Coaching

 

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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BREATHE! – Intentional Breathing – Rhoads Life Coaching

Looking for the first step in reducing stress and anxiety? Take a deep breath… all the way in and all the way out (and then repeat!). The easiest and simplest step to beginning to slow down and be more intentional about choices and actions is to focus your attention on how you breathe. Create a habit of finding your breathing several times a day. Notice when you are only taking short deep breaths. Simply reminding yourself to slow down and take a couple intentional breaths will automatically begin to reset your brain and body to a lower level of stress, helping you think clearer. You are hard-wired with a system that allows you to ramp up or slow down. It is just a matter of remembering to take some intentional breaths. – www.rhoadslifecoaching.com

 

 

BREATHE! - Rhoads Life Coaching

 

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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The Next Chapter – Rhoads Life Coaching

Next Chapter - Rhoads Life Coaching

 

I am excited to announce a new chapter in my coaching practice!

Beginning next week (September 18th), I will have greater flexibility and availability as I step into a full-time coaching! This gives me the opportunity to offer a wider range of workshops and coaching services.

So please take a minute to share this with anyone you know who might be interested in one-on-one coaching, a personal development workshop with a group of friends, or a small business owner who would appreciate help in team building, vision building, or intentional business development.

 

Remember the initial consultation is FREE!Next Chapter - Rhoads Life Coaching

 

Check out my most recent video blogs at www.rhoadscoaching.com

Send me an email if you want to know more! – jrhoads.coach@gmail.com

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Finding meaning & purpose in daily life

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Holons – Rhoads Life Coaching

You are built of, and into, many holons. A holon is a nested series of individual units that fit into a bigger independent unit.  From sports leagues to interstellar systems, these nested hierarchies help us understand how our universe works! You are part of a bigger picture and plan!  How does that add meaning and purpose to what you choose to do? What are the implications to your family, community, nation, and planet if you do not reach to a higher potential and fulfill your purpose in these holons? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

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Levels of Development

We have the ability to create higher levels of potential and experience in all aspects of our lives. That higher potential leads to the ability to resolve problems and appreciate more of living. There is a sense of wonder in the child who is introduced to the box of 64 crayons after having colored with 16 colors. What areas of your life need to develop? How will that be accomplished?

 

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Where Are Your Feet?

Sometimes we get so caught up in all of the busy-ness and stress around us that we forget the only place that we can work and live and grow is the present moment. A simple and obvious question focuses our attention back to here and now. The obvious answer can have deeper intellectual and emotional implications. So, where are your feet?

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