Category: Videos

Weekly videos highlight an intention or topic to consider

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Rest (You Really Need It)

Unlike your lawnmower (or any other machine), you are a human being and it is vitally important for your health and wellbeing that you rest.

As I have posted before, our culture takes great pride in being busy and tired. We wear them like a badges of honor. The dilemma is that as human beings we are built to rest. It is a requirement.

Your lawnmower will run until it runs out of fuel or breaks down and needs maintenance. In addition to needing fuel and maintenance, humans need a recovery period too. Frequently we don’t give ourselves that opportunity. By not creating recovery time, our physical, emotional, and intellectual health is negatively impacted.

Rest is also different from vacation or recreation. Ever have to recover from taking a vacation? Don’t confuse having a fun-filled vacation with rest!

Resting has to be something idle. A time and space where our brains and emotions can wind down and cool off. Turns out we need this idle time on a frequent basis. Don’t confuse screen time with being idle, either!

So what is your relationship with rest? Are you mortal enemies? Long lost and abandoned friends? Complete strangers? Change your relationship with rest. It might take some practice, but pay attention to how your body reacts to having some time to recover. – www.rhoadscoaching.thinkific.com

rest - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Balancing vs. Juggling

Here is an interesting perspective: Do you approach your daily activities from a sense of balancing or juggling?

First, what is the difference between balancing and juggling? Sometimes I wonder if we confuse them.

Balancing is trying to find the distribution of weight between objects to allow them to remain static in position. In order to balance something, we focus our attention on a fixed point and attempt to find the place where things stop moving.

Juggling is different in that all of the objects are in motion and our attention is focused on the points that are farthest from our hands. If you look at your hands while you juggle, everything falls to the floor.

If you apply the mindset behind these two perspectives, there are appropriate times to balance and appropriate times to juggle. What if you are using the wrong tools in the wrong places? What if your ability to use each needs to be developed to a higher skill level?

Where do you use these skills in your daily life? Do you rely on one more than the other? Where could shifting to the other perspective help in making the day go better? – www.rhoadscoaching.thinkific.com

balancing juggling - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Self-Efficacy

Self-efficacy is our personal opinion about our own ability to asses a challenge and find effective ways to cope with an obstacle or difficult situation. It impacts nearly every aspect of our daily lives and is a skill you can develop and grow.

A person with strong self-efficacy views challenges as obstacles to be overcome. They have a confidence that their previous experiences and current skills enable them to face a challenge successfully, even if the solution is not obvious. This mindset reduces stress levels and makes us more resilient to depression. In the last year and a half, our teachers demonstrated a very high level of self-efficacy in teaching through a pandemic.

Someone with a low level of self-efficacy views their own abilities as insufficient and shrinks away and avoids a challenge. This mindset forces us to not try when we are facing daily obstacles. Over time this behavior increases stress and can lead to depression.

Self-efficacy ends up being one of the cornerstones of coaching. It shows up in all of our choices each day. It is also a skill and habit that can be built and developed. You have the ability to change how you face challenges by developing your own self-efficacy!

In what parts of your life are you the most confident? What challenges do you shrink away from? What pieces are you missing to be able to grow your ability to step forward into a challenge instead of shrinking away? How can I help? – www.rhoadscoaching.thinkific.com

self-efficacy - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Re-Entry

Sometimes transitions can feel like re-entry of a spaceship back into the atmosphere! Having the right mindset (of not having complete control) and knowing what to expect helps to make the transition easier!

Whenever I watch a movie about space travel (pick your favorite – Star Trek, Star Wars, Apollo 13, The Right Stuff, etc.), I watch for the scene where a ship re-enters the atmosphere of a planet. There is always a lot of friction! The ride gets bumpy and things heat up A LOT! There are a lot of variables the astronauts can’t control. There are moments they lose communication. It looks stressful!

I imagine we can relate (somewhat) to these scenes as we make transitions back into our daily lives. Anytime I come back from vacation feels like a re-entry back into the atmosphere of work and being home. Starting a new job can be a bumpy ride.

I imagine we are all collectively going to go through a significant re-entry in the next few weeks. What do you have control over? Which things do you NOT have control over? The acceptance that transition will be bumpy and not completely under control allows us to relax a bit. Knowing that our lives might heat up and be stressful as we are out and about in the world again allows for us to keep breathing and not make things worse by trying to control what is beyond our control.

I hope your re-entry goes well! See you out and about! – www.rhoadcoaching.thinkific.com

re-entry - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Background Apps

Just like your smart phone, what background apps are running in your life? Which ones drain battery power and focus? Which ones can you turn off?

We all have at least one application on our phone that reduces the battery life of the phone, even when we aren’t using it. What application is it on your phone? The location finder? The GPS? For some of us it is a game that keeps tracking even if we aren’t playing. You aren’t able to use the phone to its full potential when these programs are still on in the background.

Have you ever noticed that you are tired or anxious or distracted and can’t figure out why? What if your brain is running background apps just like your phone? You aren’t able to function at your full capacity because something in the back of your brain is draining your energy. We all have some version of this.

The antidote? First, you have to pay attention to what applications are running inside you (especially the ones you are not currently using). The second step is to turn those apps off (some of these may be easier to turn off than others). Set them aside until you need them. If you can’t solve a problem in the current moment, practice setting it aside. Finally, review. Just like your phone it helps to go back on a regular basis to see what is still running in the background. – www.rhoadscoaching.thinkific.com

background apps - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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The Beginning of the Race

An important observation! You aren’t preparing/training for the beginning of the race! You are preparing for the end of the race, when your skills and talents are worn out!

Maybe that is a subtle distinction. It was enough for a lightbulb to go off in my head this week when it came up in two different conversations. The shift in perception makes a difference.

It doesn’t matter if you are an athlete, unemployed, planning a trip, working on a project (pick a topic), we frequently convince ourselves that we are preparing for the beginning of the event. That’s not true! We are preparing for the second half or the end of the event.

Think about training for a marathon. ANYONE can start a marathon! Even me! My natural strength, skills, and talents will begin to wear out somewhere in the middle of that race. For me it will be way early in the race. The training and preparation is for the END of the race when strength and endurance are wearing out and we have to decide that we want to keep going.

Where is this happening for you in daily life? Some of us are actually training for marathons. But what about a job search? Or trying to find a new car? Or preparing for a tough conversation? What about training a new employee?

My request is to change your perception of training and development. Instead of preparing for the beginning of the race, you are actually preparing for the end of the race. A target that us much more valuable and meaningful! – www.rhoadscoaching.thinkific.com

beginning of the race - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Persistence – 200th Video Celebration!

Given the last year and marking the milestone of 200 Rhoads Life Coaching videos, Persistence seemed like the right topic for today!

First, THANK YOU to everyone who has watched, liked, shared, and followed along over the last few years!! I am so grateful for all of your support, questions, and comments! This would not be possible without your support!

I’ve said it before, I would have laughed at you if you had told me during those first few videos that I would be posting a new topic 200 videos later. I would not have been able to see how that was possible from where I started. Persistence has definitely been a part of this journey. I’m excited to pause for a minute and celebrate!

Thank you to everyone who suggested a location! THANK YOU to Melissa Meyer for suggesting the Purple People Bridge! The topic was already picked before the location was drawn and a windy, rainy day over the Ohio River was fit perfect (even if I had to be persistent in figuring out how to record it)!

Where is your persistence lacking? How do you understand what persistence is in your life? What hill are you climbing that needs a bit more stubbornness and tenacity to keep going? Kind of like creating a 200th video in the rain! Thank you for watching! – www.rhoadscoaching.thinkific.com

persistence - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning & purpose in daily life

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Grounds & Lightning Rods

Our emotions function like electricity. They are meant to flow. Just like the wires in your house, it helps to have emotional grounds in the outlets and emotional lightning rods on the roof to prevent overloads.

Imagine what your life would be like without electricity. Those currents flowing through practically everything, keep our daily lives moving. Our emotions are the same. Life would be dark and dull without emotional current.

It is possible to overload the system, though, both with electricity and emotions. It might help then to build emotional grounds and lightning rods into your life. We don’t pay much attention to that third prong in the kitchen or bathroom outlet, or the small wire on top of the buildings we go in and out of. They are there to prevent overloads of electricity and they save us from lots of harm all the time.

What does an emotional ground or lightning rod look like then? Maybe you are already doing it to some degree and don’t know it. Those grounding techniques could include: going for a run/walk, calling a friend to vent, writing in a journal, throwing rocks in the river, singing/yelling to loud music in the car, etc. The possibilities are nearly unlimited once you recognize that your emotional system gets supercharged and needs to ground energy in a safe way!

The intent, though, is that you have a mechanism built into your own wiring that is in place and ready to act when a large emotional spike comes down the line. The request then is to be intentional about putting those safeguards in place and to use them when needed. – www.rhoadscoaching.thinkific.com

Lightning Rods - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Defining ‘Enough’

By not defining ‘enough’ for ourselves it is possible to fall into the traps of always needing ‘more’ or ‘never enough’. Take some time and define what is ‘enough’ in the different areas of your life.

Here is an interesting twist on the fundamentals of my coaching practice. Usually we frame what we want in terms of goals, vision, priorities or values. Defining what we are doing based on a target or finish line we are aiming for.

Rarely do we ever talk about what is ‘enough’. While we use the word frequently, think for a minute about what it means. It defines upper and lower limits. Either we do not have enough of something and need to add something else, or we have too much of something (you can hear your parent’s voice saying, ‘That’s enough!’).

What if defining ‘enough’ can be used as a tool? In addition to upper and lower limits there is also a time component. What timeframe are you working on? Today? Next week? This year?

By defining ‘enough’ we prevent ourselves from falling into the default trap of always needing more. Our culture uses ‘more’ as the foundation for our thinking and actions whether we are aware of it or not. By understanding where ‘enough’ is for a given topic, we automatically remove the trap of ‘more’ and especially, ‘never enough’.

What aspects of your life could benefit from clarifying for yourself the upper and lower limits? How would goals change if you had a clearer definition? Would pressure and anxiety decrease if you clearly defined your own understanding of ‘enough’? – www.rhoadscoaching.thinkific.com

defining enough - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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The Map Is Not The Story

Don’t confuse the labels you use to describe yourself with who you actually are. Just like how a map is a symbol of a place, the map is not the story or the reality of that place.

I’ve posted previously about the Cosmic Egg and the symbols like the serpent mound in Peebles, OH. We use symbols to create a map of meaning for ourselves. An important point, though, is that the map is NOT the story of what is going on.

If you were to go to a big city, say Chicago, a map of the streets, public transportation, restaurants, etc. would be really helpful. It helps to find the important things in a complex city. But the map is not Chicago itself. You can’t truly understand Chicago without being there. The same is true for us as human beings.

We like to create symbols, maps, and labels of who we are to better understand ourselves and each other. Introvert, extrovert, business person, parent, sibling, agnostic, atheist, rebel, care giver, Republican, Democrat… once you start creating labels of how we describe ourselves, it starts to paint a picture so we can understand ourselves and others can understand us. Just like the map of Chicago, these labels are not the real identity of who we are.

So here is my request. Pay attention to what labels you use when describing yourself and others. You are much too complex of a being to be limited by the labels and map of what describes you. Take some time and dig into that complexity and don’t hold on so tight to the map. Life will be much more freeing and meaningful.- www.rhoadscoaching.thinkific.com

map is not the story - rhoads life coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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