Videos Archives - Page 14 of 22 - Rhoads Life Coaching, LLC

March 31, 2019March 29, 2019

Eat the Frog First! – Rhoads Life Coaching

In his book “Eat That Frog!”, Brian Tracy rifts off of a Mark Twain quote addressing procrastination – You are given a list of tasks to complete for the day and one of them is to eat a live frog. Which task do you do first? Always eat the frog first!

We ALL have examples of spending time and energy avoiding tasks we don’t want to do. The irony of this week’s video was the several tasks I avoided early in the week delayed me in getting back out to the park to record the Spring Peepers calling. If I had done the uncomfortable tasks first, I would have been able to get to the fun stuff!

What tasks are you avoiding at work or home? Are there conversations with clients or family you are avoiding? You spend energy each day dreading, avoiding, and probably making things worse by procrastinating on getting the tough stuff done. There is a tangible benefit by doing the unpleasant task first. It removes that energy drain and creates the opportunity to be more productive and enjoy the day.

Unfortunately, knowing there is a benefit to eating the frog first and actually do is a problem. Unless you show yourself the benefit of doing the tough task first and create the motivation and accountability to actually do it, those frogs will still be there at the end of the day.

What is your biggest frog? What will it take to eat the frog first? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

March 25, 2019March 22, 2019

Are Emotions Good or Bad? – Rhoads Life Coaching

It has come up in several conversations recently about how much time and energy we spend trying to separate ourselves from our emotions. I usually end up asking the question, “Are emotions good or bad?” The answer is important as it indicates how we view ourselves and believe the world should work.

The assessment that emotions could be good or bad is a thought. We try to sort our feelings into thoughts. By creating the belief that emotional responses are bad we create the illusion that we have control of our feelings. Our brains are fooling themselves. Emotions aren’t good are bad simply because they aren’t thoughts. Emotions serve a purpose – to be felt!

Now before you move onto something that doesn’t cause an emotional response, hear me out. There are healthy times to feel anger (when an injustice has happened, a wrong needs to be right). We have sadness and grief in order to mark that we have experienced a loss of something valuable. Envy and jealousy tell us we are not where we want to be compared to others and if we want something better we need to change something for ourselves. In the same way, prolonged uninterrupted happiness makes us think something might be wrong. If you are more than 12 years old and your mother is still cutting your meat at the dinner table, her love might be an unhealthy blurring of lines between her identity and yours.

Instead of good or bad, I offer the hypothesis that emotions are meant to be felt and are gauges of health. Emotions aren’t the indicator that something is wrong, they are the engine that is driving us forward. Being able to observe, understand why, and find a healthy expression of what we are feeling.

So, are emotions good or bad for you? I would challenge you to look at feelings as neither good or bad. What do you need to do to view emotional responses as indicators of what is going on around you? How might your reactions to things change if emotions are useful instead of something to avoid? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

March 17, 2019March 16, 2019

Archetypes (Our Higher Selves) – Rhoads Life Coaching

Have you ever considered that there are higher forms of yourself? In addition to all the other roles you play, there are aspects of who you are that are common to all humans. Carl Jung calls these aspects Archetypes. They can be developed and used just like any other facet of who you are!

Just like the different layers of rock at the Trammel Fossil Park, there are layers to your personality. The upper layers are more sophisticated and have more ability and potential than the lower layers. How do we know? Because these same common roles show up in different cultures all over the world. Our stories, movies, TV shows, plays, and mythology are indicators of how everyday people have these archetypes in them. It isn’t an accident that Dorothy needs four different characters to return home from Oz. Nor is it an accident that Frodo can’t get all the way to Mordor without the Fellowship of the Ring.

Why do you care? If you can accept that archetypes are an aspect of each of us, becoming aware of how they appear inside of you, then you can begin to develop each of them in your daily life. You have the ability to empower your warrior to solve a difficult task done more effectively. What if your wizard or sorcerous was able to find a creative new solution to a problem that prevented your warrior from having to go out and fight again? How you appear if your inner king or queen accepted their own worthiness in asking for what is needed?

These higher forms create potential. By calling down, connecting to, and developing these archetypes in ourselves, we have the ability to change how we appear in the world in very powerful and meaningful ways. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

March 10, 2019March 7, 2019

Creating Meaning – Rhoads Life Coaching

One of the most significant things that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom is how we are creating meaning in life. Other animals are able to learn and adapt, but (as far as we can tell) they are unable to step outside themselves and make sense of the world. We spend a lot of time wanting and needing meaning in our lives. Do you think about how you create meaning though?

We can create meaning out of almost anything. Your child’s security blanket, a lucky penny we pick up on the sidewalk, weddings, funerals, graduations, etc. The things we find meaningful are unique to each of us through our vision, values, priorities and goals. We create meaning, though, by stepping back from ourselves, observing, and making sense of what we see.

It is critical for our personal and professional development to be able to see the context of how we fit into the world around us. By making sense of this context, by knowing why, we are able to see our own value and purpose. THIS is meaningful.

If meaning can be created, it can also be developed – just like any other skill. Where do you find meaning in your life? Where is meaning missing? What do you need to do to step back and observe yourself as you go through your day? To make sense of how your daily life fits into the bigger picture? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

March 3, 2019March 3, 2019

The World is a Patchy Place – Rhoads Life Coaching

It’s funny how different things stick with you. I have a clear memory of my advisor in school saying during a lecture, “The world is a patchy place”. The way it was stated struck me as humorous at the time. Little did I know that it would keep popping up over the years.

Have you ever paid any attention to the fact that the world is a patchy place? There are very few things we encounter that are evenly distributed. The ground beneath your feet, the cells in your body, the groceries at the store, your friends and family all would not exist if the ‘things’ in this world were evenly distributed. There are sound ecological and financial principals as to why the birds come to the feeder together instead of one at a time. Just like three drug stores at the same intersection is better for business than one drug store by itself.

Why do you care? Noticing might help in how you approach navigating toward what you want! Accepting that the world is a patchy place might influence how you go about searching for a job, or hiring new employees. It might help you navigate away from loneliness and being better connected to groups that meet your vision and goals. It could even influence how you treat yourself in terms of reducing negativity, creating goals, or overcoming obstacles.

Part of my coaching has developed around this theory that the world is a patchy place. Where do you need to go next to solve your current problem? If you don’t have what you need where you are, where is the patch of what you need located? How will you get there? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

February 24, 2019February 24, 2019

How Bad Do You Want It? – Rhoads Life Coaching

I had to take my own advice today in filming at Rentschler Forest – twice the camera blew over (and I needed a heavier jacket)! Ok, Rhoads… How bad do you want it?

I’m a big fan (nerd) of reading historical markers. This one at Rentschler Park is for the 20 mile segment of the Miami & Erie Canal dug in the early 1820’s. BY HAND! In connecting Cincinnati to Toledo, not only was there a grand vision of connecting the west side of Ohio, there was also the practical application of having to go dig (with shovels) mile after mile of canal. A large group of people decided it was worth the effort to expend the time and energy to make that vision a reality.

Frequently in coaching we run up against obstacles as soon as a goal or vision is set. In assessing whether to move forward, my question to clients is “How Bad Do You Want It?”. The value of achieving the goal has to outweigh the effort involved to scale each hurdle. Remembering that value is what keeps us moving toward our goals, even if it is at a slow, measured pace.

What goals are you reaching toward? What obstacles are getting in the way? How do you remind yourself that what you are reaching for is valuable? How bad do you want it? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

February 17, 2019February 17, 2019

Knowing vs. Understanding – Rhoads Life Coaching

Do you keep track of how to define knowing vs. understanding? When we teach young children to brush their teeth, we begin by teaching them HOW to brush. It takes a while to learn to know how to brush! The understanding of WHY to brush their teeth is different. It isn’t a requirement to understand why brushing is important in order to complete the task. As they get older (and probably after a couple of cavities) the understanding of why to brush enables their brushing to develop to a higher level of skill and effectiveness.

We have all run into the fast food server, or the unmotivated co-worker, who clearly knows how to do their job, but does not have a developed understanding of why their role is important to the business, community, or even themselves. In order to grow personally and professionally, it helps to identify the areas where knowing must change into understanding. This can apply to any aspect of life and creates a sense of purpose and meaning in our daily tasks.

Where does this happen for you? What aspects of your life are you going through the motions because you know how to do something, but have not paid attention to or developed your understanding of why. A skill or task at work? How to navigate a conflict with a family member? Why you have such a difficult time overcoming a personal obstacle? Where is there an opportunity to develop your knowing vs. understanding? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

February 10, 2019February 10, 2019

Motivation vs. Accountability – Rhoads Life Coaching

Do you know the difference between motivation vs. accountability? We sometimes get them confused. Think of motivation as the reason (the why) you want to do something. Accountability ends up being the mechanism by which we make it happen (the how).

I set my alarm clock in the morning not because I am motivated to get up early, but because I want accomplish something early in the day – like getting to work on time or going for a run. The alarm clock is not the motivation to get up, it is the backstop I put in place to hold myself accountable for getting out of bed. The motivation is to be on time, or go for a run before the rest of the day gets started.

Do you confuse your motivation with your accountability? What motivates you? What measures do you put in place to help you reach for your goals? Blurring the line between motivation vs. accountability sets us down the path of confusion our goals and vision. We aren’t getting a job for a paycheck, we are working hard to further our career or to save money for a vacation, nice home, or putting our kids through school.

Where do you confuse your motivation vs. accountability? Where would it help to clarify these roles in your daily tasks? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

February 3, 2019February 3, 2019

What Are You Willing To Give Up? – Rhoads Life Coaching

Frequently we get so focused on what we must gain in order to change we forget we must also be willing to give something up. What must you let go of in order to grow?

When coaching, it is sometimes difficult to miss the armloads of preconceived notions, belief systems, biases, fears, grudges, hopes, dreams, successes and failed attempts a client may have trouble seeing over and through as they try to develop something new in themselves. All of these things have served a valuable role in helping the person get to this point in their life, but sometimes this mass of stuff prevents being able to do something different.

It helps to imagine these internal biases as physical objects (maybe rocks, or bricks) that get carried into every situation. By creating this image, it is easier to understand how we are unable to pick up something new, because our arms are full of the past.

Suddenly it is possible to entertain the option of setting something down, before a new mindset or belief can be picked up. Take a few minutes and think about a struggle you are having in your growth and development. What is it you are trying to achieve, and what are you holding onto that is preventing it from happening? What must you let go of in order to grow? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

January 27, 2019January 27, 2019

Propping & Collapsing – Rhoads Life Coaching

One perspective shift that has occurred for me over the last couple of years has been the introduction of the concepts of propping and collapsing. It was unsettling to me, once I started paying attention, how much I prop my body when I sit and stand. In an age of computers and cell phones, I can feel the physical toll on my body through the aches and pains of muscles and joints from not having good posture. I’ve had to work hard to change how I sit and stand!

This concept is easy to carry forward into other areas of my life. We all can think of a co-worker or teammate who has collapsed in some way and the staff and team having to prop up around them to continue on. Propping our finances up is not sustainable and eventually other areas of our lives pay the price. Emotionally and relationally propping and collapsing are not long term solutions. Are you someone who is always propping others up, or always collapsing on someone else?

Just like a dilapidated barn, the long term impacts of sustained propping lead to much broader collapse in our lives. So where are you propping yourself up? What part of your person has collapsed and forced stress on other parts of your life? Take some time to create a map for yourself of where stress occurs and where it can be reduced. Without intentional whole-person growth and development, sustained propping will undermine how we want to live. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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