Breakthroughs in Development – Rhoads Life Coaching

Hopefully we all continue to experience breakthroughs in development (whether that is personally, professionally, or relationally). These A-HA moments are exciting! Puncturing a ceiling that has been limiting in the past is a big accomplishment! These breakthroughs can also be frustrating if we expect them to be the new normal. Think back to your kindergartner or teenager learning to ride a bike or drive a car. The FIRST time those things happen is a revelation. We celebrate! But we don’t want our child or our teen to stay at just that level of development. To expect them to be able to ride or drive safely and successfully requires more development. Building a new level of development is different than discovering that new level!

So a breakthrough is not the same as developing a sustainable new level. Do you expect that from yourself and others? Landing at the airport in Denver does not mean I fully understand what Denver is about. Being able to navigate a tough conversation over a conflict with a friend, partner, or co-worker does not mean we are finished in resolving the conflict. To truly maintain a new level of understanding, we have to be committed to putting the time and energy into building something sustainable.

Where in your business or life do you have emerging levels of development? What are your expectations around these changes? If you expect a new level of growth to be a one-time event, I would challenge you to take a look at whether you are setting yourself up for frustration and disappointment. Celebrate the breakthroughs, but give yourself the time and space to commit to building something that will last once that breakthrough has happened. Rarely do we ever achieve anything perfectly on the first try. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

April 14, 2018

Expectations – Rhoads Life Coaching

What are your expectations? Seriously, take a minute and think about that. What do you EXPECT to happen. Not just on a grand scale of years and decades and for your life, but on a minute by minute basis.

We have hopes, dreams, vision, goals, and purpose. Each of those is different that expectations. When we start to expect things we begin to fall into a trap of our own making. How do you react when your expectations aren’t met? You get frustrated, right? What we expect to happen is more a reflection of who we are than the world around us. All of our filters and self-protecting behaviors are wrapped up in that expectancy. Frequently the world doesn’t meet our expectations, which leads to suffering. We believe things should go our way (A LOT). The more the things don’t go our way, the more frustrated we get. We suffer greatly this trap. What if you shifted from expectation to hope? How would your world be different if you were more hopeful and less expectant?

So what are the things you expect from the world? Big things and little things. We expect the world to not rain on parades and picnic, right? We expect a raise. We expect our children to listen and behave. We expect our relationships to stay the same once they reach a certain place. We expect someone to respond to a text or email in a certain amount of time. It goes on and on. We expect the world to not change!

What small changes do you need to make in order to reduce your expectations? It is a difficult thing to do as we often don’t see we are doing it. Take some time and observe how you react when things don’t go your way. Even reducing our expectations just a little bit will reduce the frustration we feel with ourselves and the world around us. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding purpose and meaning in daily life

April 8, 2018

Give Up Your Suffering – Rhoads Life Coaching

We have a twisted relationship with some of the things that cause us suffering. Have you ever soldiered on through a cold and gone to work sick? Ever bragged about how much overtime you put in or how early you got to the gym? Whats the latest you’ve ever responded to a work email on a weekend or vacation? Have you ever complained or been resentful about doing any of these things? We all know someone who enjoys being negative about how hard they work! What do you worry about excessively? Does everything have to be perfect all the time? There is something about us that takes pride and likes some of this suffering. So much so that we are unwilling to give it up!

Clearly there are benefits to working hard and not giving up. But where does that mindset slide too far the other way? Holding on to that suffering eventually comes with a price. Our lives become imbalanced. Other parts of our lives (i.e., relationships, physical health, emotional health) can be damaged when we fall in love with the belief that all suffering is good for us.

So where in your life are you causing yourself more problems by holding on to suffering? What mindset or habit could be modified to reduce negativity or balance yourself out? What do you need in order to let go a little bit? Most importantly, what valuable thing could enter into your life if you made some space by removing some the suffering you are clinging to? Take a small step this week and find one small pain point you cause yourself and let go of it to see what happens. Hopefully you find more meaning in that new thing! – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding purpose and meaning in daily life

April 1, 2018

Human-Being vs. Human-Doing – Rhoads Life Coaching

How would you describe yourself? There are lots of different labels and tags to define how we identify ourselves. At the core though, you are a human being! Does your life reflect that? Or are you a “human doing”? How is that different? Does it matter?

If our lists of things to do, calendars events, paychecks, cars, houses, accomplishments, and over-busy lives were the most important things, we would call ourselves human doings. But we don’t! While our lives can be very mechanical, there is more to us than all of the daily repetition. There is a difference between being and doing! We identify ourselves as beings, so there is more to us than what we do. But what is that? It starts with separating your doing from your being. At some level we understand there is a piece of us that is different from our job and achievements. Evidence for this is that we love our partner, or child, or pet for who they are, not what what they do. The same logic applies to you. If you can begin to see value in who you are, you can separate that from what you do. It takes practice and lots of self-observation.

Again, does it matter? If you are not a “human doing” then our busy-ness and stuff is not as valuable as we think. Your value comes from your being. What we do is not who we are. You are a human being! So who are you? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

March 25, 2018

Mountaintop Experience – Rhoads Life Coaching

Hopefully you have had at least one mountaintop experience in your life (whether literally or figuratively). There is something about being human that calls us to find a higher place to gain a broader perspective of our lives and where we fit into the world. To be clear, I am not talking about vacationing or recreating. What I mean by “mountaintop experience” is more of a retreat, a stepping back away from the hectic pace of our lives to contemplate and gain perspective. This could be on a literal mountaintop, or peering out across the vastness of the ocean, or up into the depth of space. For some of us a mountaintop experience has a deep sense of spirituality and could just as easily be achieved during a religious ceremony or simply meditating in an intentional way.

Regardless of how this experience is achieved, the intent is to step up and out of our lives. Our myths, fairy tales, adventures, and parables are full of heroes and heroines retreating to higher place for contemplation. It helps to be up higher in order to see what is out beyond the reach of our daily living. Where are we going? Where have we been? And whether this is literal or introspective, there is value in looking at who we are, how our lives are going, and where we want to go next. This creates purpose and meaning in living!

Another important perspective about these experiences is that they aren’t intended to be sustained indefinitely. It doesn’t take long to realize that living above a certain elevation in the mountains requires a tremendous amount of time, energy, and money to sustain (and if you haven’t watched the video yet, it is also very windy!). For most of us, gaining perspective from a higher vantage point is a short-term event. For most of us, we are not intended to live on the mountain away from the rest of the people we know. For the heroes in our stories, coming back down the mountain with new insight and information is just as valuable as the revelation achieved. These new perspectives are to be shared! Life in the valley and down on our daily plain of existence is monotonous and messy. We need those revelations in order to keep moving forward!

So if you haven’t taken the time to create a mountaintop experience, you now have homework! You don’t have to fly to Denver and drive up into the snow to create this experience. What are the things you are searching for in your life and how will being a higher place to see help? When will be your next mountaintop experience? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

March 23, 2018

Purposeful Change Series – Part II

Taking a deeper dive into self-awareness and personal growth

Hosted by Grace Tree Yoga & Growth Studio

Thursday evenings, April 5 – May 31, 2018• 7:00 pm to 8:30 pm
8933 Cincinnati-Dayton Road • West Chester, OH 45069

Investment: $140.00 for 8 weeks or $17.50 per session [Early bird discount of $125: if pre-registered before April 5^th. Early bird price: $125.00]

E-mail: info@gracetreestudio.com www.gracetreestudio.com

I am excited to announce that in collaboration with Gracetree Yoga & Growth Studio, I will be hosting the upcoming series! Follow the Gracetree link to their workshop page to join us!

Purposeful Change Part II is an 8-week, 90-minute/session series that will take a deeper look at practical applications for taking the mindfulness and self-exploration of yoga out into daily life. Participants will take a deeper dive into exploring methods of approaching daily tasks, relationships, careers, etc. in an intentional way, allowing for alignment between their internal and external worlds.

Rhoads Life Coaching - Purposeful Change Part II will give each participant the opportunity to explore a deeper understanding of the topics introduced in Part I. It is not a requirement to have completed Part I to take this series. Newcomers are welcome!

This series is related to personal development and not Karma work.

Send questions to jrhoads.coach@gmail.com.

www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding purpose and meaning in daily life

March 17, 2018

Worry Worry Worry – Rhoads Life Coaching

How much do you worry? What do you worry about? Do you pay attention to amount of time and energy you put into worrying?

Worry is different from fear in that by worrying we end up right back where we started and nothing has changed. It is the same as rocking in a rocking chair – it is something to pass the time, but not matter how long or fast you rock in that chair, you finish right where you started. Some of us have graduated from the rocking chair to the hamster wheel of worry, and we worry as fast as we can and never go anywhere. This is different from fear as fear motivates us to DO SOMETHING! Fear, whether we like it or not, prompts us to change.

Worry can also be like a slow leak in a tire. It drains our energy and time. Have you ever had a tire on a car or bike that slowly leaks? It isn’t draining fast enough to prevent you from getting through the day, but every once in a while you have to stop and fill it back up. It takes time and energy from other things. Worrying distracts our attention and effort.

So how to stop worrying so much? First is to pay attention to what you worry about. How often do you focus your energy on a particular topic and never do anything about it? By observing what we worry about it is possible to begin to understand the story behind WHY we are worrying about something. By understanding the story it creates the opportunity to change how you approach a concern, or gives you the opportunity to let go of the worry around it. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

March 11, 2018

How Are You Motivated? – Rhoads Life Coaching

HOW you are motivated is different from WHAT motivates you. Are you motivated because you want to do things, or because you have to? The pull or push of that motivation makes a big difference in how we see and experience the world.

Think of the donkey being motivated by wanting the carrot instead of being driven forward with the swing of a stick. Both are effective tools for motivation. There is a dilemma though if we are being pushed (or push ourselves) too much. Using the stick too much in our daily lives has long term negative consequences. The message of “you have to do this.” or “I have to do this.” implies there is no choice given. It requires less effort for the donkey to want to go forward.

We have countless examples of these two forms in our lives – either being drawn towards what we want, or being pushed to do something we would not choose to do. So where do they appear in your life? Take some time and observe over the next few days and weeks which mechanism (pushed or pulled) is being applied as you go through your day. Don’t just apply this to big decisions. Are you being pushed or pulled into obeying traffic laws? Is there a benefit for you in WANTING to be safe with everyone else on the road instead of HAVING to obey the law? Can grocery shopping be something other than a chore?

The intent is to be able to have more ownership and purpose in each task. This is possible by wanting to be intentional with your daily life instead of being driven forward by the tasks that HAVE to be completed. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

March 4, 2018

Inner Talking – Rhoads Life Coaching

We have lots of conversations with ourselves. This inner talking happens all the time, whether we notice it or not. There can be one or two sides of our personality giving commentary, or a multitude of thoughts and comments being thrown around inside each of us as we navigate through the day. Have you ever paid any attention to how you speak to yourself? Why does it matter?

This inner talking is important as it gives a clue as to which internal lens we are seeing the world through. This could have a big impact on how we react! Some of these conversations can be very negative and can have a significant impact on how we address the world.

It is also important to pay attention to how we talk to ourselves as we sometimes treat ourselves much more harshly than we would treat others. Are the conversations you have inside your head helpful or hurtful? Do you blame or shame yourself? Would you speak to your family, friends, or coworkers the same way your Inner Critic speaks to you? If your inner talking is more negative towards you than others then you could be limiting your own potential. If those harsh inner thoughts are being given to others, then you are a source of negativity in your own world.

Ironically, it is that same inner talking that can be part of the solution. By creating positive inner talking you can push back and silence the negative comments! How much do you affirm yourself for the positive things in your life? How much do you affirm all of the hard work and effort that goes into each day?

Be careful with how you speak to yourself! That inner talking has a significant influence on your daily life! – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

February 25, 2018

Energy Sinks and Energy Wells – Rhoads Life Coaching

An energy sink is a place in your life where you have to use energy to be present. An energy well is the opposite, a please where you are recharged by being there or participating. Just like in a video game, these sinks and energy are distributed through out our lives and we interact with them on a daily basis, sometimes trying to avoid them and sometimes trying to find them.

There are also different types of sinks and wells. We have physical energy, emotional energy, and intellectual energy and it is possible to fuel or drain one or more of these sources without fueling or draining others. Have you ever noticed that after an exhausting week you are able to rally on Friday evening and go out to have fun? That intellectual or physical sink can be recharged with an emotional well!

So our energy levels are complex! It takes stored capacity to do the things that are valuable and important to us. It becomes a subtle science of paying attention to what drains us and what fuels us. The intent is not to only hoard energy, but to create a balance of give and take. It is possible to deplete all of your energy until there is nothing left to give.

There is unique quality to you as a person that your sinks and wells are specific to you. Understanding what they are is important and being able to navigate between giving and taking energy to those around you is critical to your health and well being.

Where do you have to use energy in your life? Where do you have wells to refuel? Pay attention to those sinks and wells and how you treat yourself in terms finding each when you need them. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Taking a deeper dive into self-awareness and personal growth

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