Category: Videos

Weekly videos highlight an intention or topic to consider

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Plan Continuation Bias – Get-There-itis

Plan continuation bias is the tendency to continue with an original course of action that is not longer viable. The phrase was developed during a study of airline pilots. The pilot’s behavior was observed when encountering unexpected changes to their flight plans.

Faced with unexpected severe weather the pilots would try to get to their original destination ahead of the storm rather than reroute to a safer airport. This sometimes resulted in unsafe landings in inclement weather. The pilots called it “Get-There-itis”.

I do this! YOU do this! In the last 12 months we have thousands of examples of racing against a pandemic. We were frequently unwilling to change in order to get things done. With dangerous consequences.

As parents we do this when the schedule of activities is packed too tight and a child gets sick. We keep plowing forward trying to complete all the tasks. Ever send a child to school sick? That’s plan continuation bias. The same goes for our businesses and jobs.

The antidote? To pause and assess. When an unexpected change happens, the best scenario is to recognize that something is different and to take a minute to reevaluate. If plan continuation bias is happening, it becomes a matter of wanting something better and making the decision to alter course.

When does this happen the most for you? How much do you lose by not changing course? Can you reduce your get-there-itis? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

Plan Continuation Bias - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Keep The Channel Open

I recently ran across a quote from dancer and choreographer Martha Graham that has quickly become one of my favorites. She encourages us to “keep the channel open” and it seems, now more than ever, we need to remember it.

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium, and be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.” – Martha Graham

What is your vitality and action? It isn’t to be complacent! Sitting still and waiting is not what you are here to do! What areas of your life are you being called to express your unique value? Are you keeping the channel open? What prevents that from happening?

You have been given a unique opportunity. There is something pulling your forward through life. Your job is to keep the channel open so that action can be fulfilled. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

keep the channel open - rhoads life coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Setting A Marker

How are you differentiating the days and weeks so they don’t all run together? Maybe now is the right time to set a marker so you can measure how far you have come and how far you are going to go!

We usually use the New Year as a marker. Out with the old in with the new. In March we will pass the marker of a year of COVID pandemic. If we aren’t paying attention it all starts to blur together and we limit our ability to see that change is still happening around us.

How are you going to keep track of the fact that you are still growing, adapting, and developing? Today is different than yesterday and tomorrow. What relative measurement will work for you to prove that you are still moving forward?

You could celebrate “mini-holidays” for the beginning of each week or month. Keeping a journal or log (and going back and reviewing it) allows you to track your changes. Setting a check-in with a friend or family member allows you to have an outside reference point.

My challenge to you is to create a benchmark for yourself. A metaphorical trail of breadcrumbs. By setting a marker you will be able to prove to yourself that the last 12 months were more valuable than you might believe. You will be setting yourself up to see how much change will happen for you in the next twelve months. How are you going to help yourself?- www.rhoadscoaching.com

Setting A Marker - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Define Grace For Yourself

How do you define grace? Is it part of your life? What are you missing by not including it as part of being human?

Several times recently the idea of grace has come up in conversations. I was surprised in looking up the definition all of the different meanings it has. For today, my request is the to focus on the aspect of grace defined as “an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency“.

The unique thing about grace, though, is that it can’t be earned. If I can’t earn someone’s kindness or clemency, then it must be freely given. Our culture doesn’t take kindly to anything that can’t be earned or traded. Yet there is something very human about grace being freely given.

Is this an idea that exists in your world? For most of us it is easier to consider when thinking about religion or a higher power. Because of this, it also makes it more difficult for it to be part of our daily lives.

What if you were to apply grace as a tool in how you relate to others (and even yourself)? Take some time this season to consider where this unearned kindness does appear and where it might be needed more in your life. How do you define it? How can you develop it in yourself? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

Grace - Rhoads Life Coaching

finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Repentance (Thinking In A New Way)

We have a complicated relationship with what we say we believe. For many of us our personal beliefs come from what we are taught about religion (both good and bad). One of the ideas we misunderstand is repentance.

We tend to think of repentance as feeling sorry or being guilty for doing something. This leads us down the path of avoiding the topic and seeing repenting as a trap. With this misunderstanding we lose the value of repentance as a powerful opportunity.

Part of the original Greek translation of our word repentance included the idea of ‘thinking in a new way’. The result of identifying our shortcomings was to create growth and development to something better. This thinking in a new way creates something better. We may have forgotten or not know this about how turning away from our old way of doing things creates a new opportunity.

What if repentance wasn’t a bad thing? Where in your life are you missing the opportunity to think in a new way. Where does the old thinking create hurt for you and others? Is it possible this old idea might be useful in your daily life? What if by repenting we are growing and developing into something new? – www.rhoadcoaching.com

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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On Being More Specific

Whether in setting goals or communicating we often get ourselves into trouble by being vague. Where would being specific improve your daily life?

I have a friend who works in the IT department for a large bank. He takes service requests all day from employees with their computer problems. Almost every conversation starts with some version of, “My computer won’t work.” His job is to help each caller dig into the details of what “won’t work” means. It is an immeasurable help to him when the caller can give him specific details of what is happening. He is able to help them much faster and more accurately when they provide more information.

Where does this happen for you? All of us could use help in our communication. One way of improving communication is to be more specific in the words we use. “Please bring me that” is way less helpful than, “Please bring the red Philips screwdriver sitting on the front corner of my workbench in the basement.” See the difference?

What about goal setting or conflict resolution? It is easier to achieve goals when they are more specific. It is also easier to resolve problems when we are detailed in what the problem is.

Where are you lacking in being specific? What parts of your life would benefit from more details? My request is to practice for a week and see what happens when you add more intention into your text messages, emails, and phone conversations. I want to know if it improves your navigation through each day! – www.rhoadscoaching.com

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Emotional Saturation

I was being stubborn a few days ago and went for a run in the rain. It got me thinking about saturation. The deep puddles and cold wet clothes were a mirror for the emotional toll this year has taken on us.

Does that resonate? I’ve posted before about how our emotions are meant to be felt, not suppressed. There is a penalty for forcing our bodies to hold onto our feelings. We have to store them in our bones and tissues. If we store them too long they build up and we become saturated. Just like the ground on a rainy day.

Whether it is fear, sadness, anger, or any other emotion you have been feeling over the course of this year, at some point you may have been weighed down with carrying those emotions through the day. It takes energy to carry them! I got tired faster on my regular run lifting my feet higher through the puddles and carrying the extra weight of soaked clothes. We are exhausted from all of the emotions connected to 2020.

The relief does not come from ignoring and repressing what we are feeling (imagine wearing those soaked running clothes for the rest of the day). Part of the solution is unclogging the drains and allowing our emotions to flow. Unwillingness to admit you are tired from running in those heavy clothes, prevents a chance to dry out and rest.

What parts of your life have reached an emotional saturation? What do you need to do different to allow those emotions to flow in a healthy way so you are so flooded? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Stepping Off The Curb

What if the current change you are facing is more like stepping off the curb than jumping off a cliff?

I heard a cool story this week during a networking meeting that I wanted to share. After a period of indecision about starting their own business, this person had a friend say to them, “You won’t be jumping off of a cliff, you will be stepping off the curb.” The image clicked and allowed the business to be created (it is still thriving)!

Has this ever happened to you? Where you had created a story that the change was going to be terrifying and dangerous, only to find out the first step created momentum and you were off and running?

Where are you doing this now? Have you created an image in your head that the next obstacle is a giant drop? That you will lose your security and identity and there is no point in proceeding? What if the change was more like stepping off the curb to cross the street? Is there any chance the things you will sacrifice will be much less than the reward?

Most importantly, how will be able to tell the difference? Do you have the ability to assess your situation and evaluate the risks? Who do you know and trust that can give you the perspective you need to get you off the curb?- www.rhoadscoaching.com

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Humility and Being Humble

What is humility and being humble? How do you experience it?

I’ve posted previously about our love/hate relationship with pride. If humility is the flip side of that same coin, I imagine we also have a tangled relationship with being humble. We think of it in terms of extremes and it is either positive or negative and either a sign of weakness or something others have too little of in the world.

Today I’m not talking about the long laundry list of all the places your neighbor or enemy need to be humble. I’m talking about you. How do you experience it? What do you believe about it? Where do you have too much humility in your life? What part of your life could benefit from being a bit more humble?

There ARE benefits of lowering our image of ourself down to that of others. There is a letting go and releasing the fight we find ourselves in to keep our self image above others. It offers the opportunity to find the areas of our lives that would benefit from being improved.

I dare you to take a look inside yourself over the next few weeks. Where have you been hard and cold to others? Where would being humble soften some of those edges, not only for others but for you as well?

If there are positive and negative ways to be proud, there are also positive and negative ways to be humble. Where in your life would adding some humility be helpful? – www.rhoadscoaching.com

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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Through the Trench, Not Around

Through The Trench - Rhoads Life Coaching
Copyright Disney Pixar, 2003

Remember Dory and Marlin in ‘Finding Nemo’? In their journey, they were given the instructions to go through the trench, not around in order to find their way.

When they arrived the trench looked scary and dangerous. Marlin was able to convince Dory to swim up over the top of the trench. This unwittingly led them directly into a swarm of poisonous jellyfish. It turns out that avoiding the tough spot was more dangerous than going through. They both were seriously injured. Their journey nearly came to an end.

Have you felt like Dory and Marlin in the last few weeks (months)? We are facing lots of very large obstacles personally and as a community. Life looks and sounds scary and dangerous in many places right now. Have you been given a signal of which way to go? Can you trust it? Are you avoiding the tough decisions?

Ironically, this image of the trench is not new. This idea of being led safely down a treacherous road is at least as old as the Old Testament. The 23rd Psalm talks about being “led through the valley of the shadow of death”. Sounds like Finding Nemo!

What is your own version of the trench? Are you taking the easy way out by not participating in the tough situations we are facing? Will you be setting yourself up for more hurt later by not taking the tougher road? How are you going to find the courage to step forward and do the tough work? It seems like now is a great time to start. – www.rhoadscoaching.com

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finding meaning and purpose in daily life

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